Savage Moms Who Don’t Hold Back
Good roasts come from many sources. The main character in your favorite movie, the mean girl in school, and Andrew Tate’s Twitter feed are all great places to come across some entertaining banter. Let’s be honest, though: no one can dish out burns better than your mom. Not only does she know you better than anyone else, but years of life experience have made her wise and unafraid. That’s a lethal combination. We’ve compiled a list of funny moms who have said straight-up savage remarks to anyone who deserves them, whether it’s putting a troll in their place or teaching their kids a valuable lesson about respect.
Check out these savage mothers; including the one who published an embarrassing fact about her son on his Facebook page. Ouch!
Use Your Kavanaugh Jokes Wisely
Everything you say leaves a mark, even if it’s something as small as leaving a comment on a Facebook post. A message like “I would Kavanaugh that!” may seem innocent to you, but it can have implications that are much further reaching. This savage mom calmly explained why using Kavanaugh in a joke diminishes the lessons of teaching our children to respect boundaries.
“Rape and accusations of rape are both horrible things to do to a person,” she wrote. “Joking about that negates everything we should be teaching our sons and daughters.” Well-said. Hopefully, this guy takes a second to think twice the next time he casually wants to joke about sexual offenses. Moms are out here watching and they will come for you.
No One’s Getting $3000 Presents in This House
It’s a classic trick pulled by kids to get what they want from their parents: tell them what other parents are doing for their kids and try to make them feel guilty about it. “Well, Lisa’s mom is letting her go to the party!” “Ryan’s dad let him drive his truck without a license!”.
In this text message exchange, the kid lets their parent know about the wild amount of money that a parent just spent on their child’s Christmas present. In an attempt to also benefit here, they challenge their mom to a competition with this random parent. The answer from this savage mom is simple and to the point. She will be partaking in no such challenge. If her kids had behaved better, they’d probably have an easier job trying to manipulate her for more presents. Maybe next year.
Mom Warning: Vaccines Cause Adults
Vaccines aren’t welcomed by many people who don’t trust what’s in them. They argue that as we don’t fully know what’s in vaccines, there are risky side effects, and there can be long-term damage. It’s a contentious debate that’s not going to disappear anytime soon. What should we do?
Maybe, as this one savage mom points out, the answer is simple: vaccines cause adults. Vaccines, like any other medical treatment or operation, have a chance for risk. And it’s smart to think about what you’re putting in your body. But the hope is that the most common result of vaccines is children growing up to become adults. Well said “mom with sign”! With any luck, they become responsible and logical enough to choose to protect themselves as well as the community.
All You Had To Do Was Mow The Lawn
It’s part of being a mom to have to ask your kid to do chores repeatedly. The first time you ask, you’re nice and friendly. You’ll finish your request with a “love you” and a heart emoji. The second time, you’ll get a little sassier. When your kid responds with a snarky message instead of saying okay, you have no choice but to become a savage.
He was trying to roast you, but all he had to do was mow the lawn. Now, you’re calling him out for not putting his energy toward a much-needed college degree and instead using it to get out of chores. Oh, and the lawn’s still not going to mow itself! Mom is not messing around.
Mother Reminds Her Son How He Got Here
Hahaha, so funny (note the sarcasm). You’re posting about how women are dumber/more inferior/more annoying than men. Talking about how a woman should shut up simply because she is a woman is bound to get a good laugh from your lame friends. It’s a sexist joke that will appeal to at least half of the population. What could go wrong?
Oh, yeah. Your mom follows you, and she’s not going to let you get away with this lightly. She won’t just scroll past and ignore what you said. She’ll reply to it and ban you from her home until you take down the post. She’ll never let you forget that without a woman, you wouldn’t be able to be on this earth with the ability to post stupid nonsense in the first place.
Absentee Father Takes A Beating Of His Own
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that an absentee parent should have no right to post about how to raise children online. But this dummy is on Facebook sharing his thoughts about the “simple problem” in raising today’s children. They just don’t know “the fear of hearing leather rapidly being removed through 7 Wrangler belt loops”. Some questionable advice here.
This guy took a beating of his own when a savage mom responded to his messed-up post. How does this guy have any idea about kids today? She quickly reminds him that he doesn’t even know what his kids are like now that they are adults. Turns out, his three grown kids want nothing to do with them because of how he treated them growing up. No surprise there.
Double Standards For Marijuana Smokers
Double standards exist everywhere, especially when it comes to what is socially acceptable for parents. It’s true for rich parents and poor parents, female parents and male parents, and white parents and black parents. Think about it like this: how many of us judge rich parents for hiring nannies to look after their children to go to work while looking down on poor parents who don’t prioritize making money for their family?
What about smoking marijuana? This show did a segment on moms who say that smoking weed makes them better parents. Based on the picture, this was probably a report on white moms with stable jobs and a suburban life. One savage mom pointed out that black dads who also recreationally use marijuana often end up in jail and don’t receive the same positive press.
Chrissy Says Get Over Yourself
Thanks to social media, we have the choice to share every single thing we do with the world. Most of us choose to post one of two things: our highlight reels or our complaints. One person clearly uses his account for the latter by specifically mentioning that he did not want to see Chrissy Teigen’s nursing pictures.
This famous mom responded with some much-needed advice for this hater: calm down. She pointed out that everyone comes across content that they’re not interested in seeing. Just move on. You clearly care enough to spend the time tagging her too! If it bothers you that much, why not just unfollow the person rather than saying something negative? If you’re so intent on mom-shaming, probably not best to do it to one with such a large fan base.
Misleading Article Headline Is No Match For This Mom
For as many well-researched and objective news articles out there, there are sensationalized headlines by people who have no right to call themselves journalists. The content they write will take one detail of an interview with someone and blow it way out of proportion. This article title mentions a mom defending herself for smoking weed in front of her kids. Fake news?
This strong mom wasn’t going to let false facts drag her image. She corrected the narrative with a comment that called out the article and clarified what she really said: she smokes outside when her kids are asleep, just like a parent may have a glass of wine after they put their kids down for bed. She did not appreciate her words being twisted!
Now He’s Really Not Getting Anything For Christmas
It’s obvious why people feel the need to lie on social media for attention: they feel insecure about their lives and want validation from other people. But it’s sad when a kid who gets so much from his parents goes online and says that he gets nothing – then goes so far as saying that his parents suck. Attention seeker much.
Naturally, his mom was very hurt when she saw his comment. Who wouldn’t be heartbroken that your son didn’t value all of the effort that went into picking out special gifts for him? He seems to be getting what he asked for, though, because this generous mom turned into a savage. She told her son that his father would be returning all of this year’s gifts. Better luck next year mate.
Being Picky Doesn’t Mean You Pick Right
Every parent wants their kid to be selective when it comes to dating. They only want the best for their children, and sometimes that means waiting for the right person to come along before committing. The last thing a parent wants to see is their kid end up in a relationship where they’re not challenged or treated right. You deserve the very best!
This savage mom playfully called out her daughter by asking her how she’s always picky but still choosing the wrong people to be with. We don’t know the full story here, but we can tell that this mama is not happy with her daughter’s taste in partners. Now we’re curious to see if the people she dates are really that bad, or if her mom’s standards for her child are really that high!
Mom Calls Her Son Her Proudest Failure
Interview questions can often feel like a trap. On a rare occasion, you get a thoughtful interview question that leads to a meaningful answer. One guy posted a great question on Facebook that made him think about a failure that ultimately turned into a positive experience. Things go wrong but in time we may reflect on them differently.
His mom quickly made sure his reflective post would leave a lasting impact. She responded with a one-word comment that was absolutely savage: the answer is you! She also added a smiley face, which was likely a reminder not to take himself or her roast too seriously. A post like this is a set-up for some embarrassing honesty and no savage mom will fail to rise to the occasion.
Failed Prank Turned Savage Roast
We’ve all seen those prank text message interactions on Reddit and Instagram that trick our family members into saying something stupid. This girl tried to pull a fast one on her mother with a frantic message saying she saw a scary ugly clown on the street. Was this the start of a good practical joke?
We’ll never know, because this savage mom was much quicker and wittier than her daughter anticipated. Instead of taking the bait, she asked her daughter what a mirror was doing out on the street. Not only did she shut her daughter down, but she also called her an ugly clown in the process! There’s no clowning around with savages.
Mom Sells Son’s Car And Says He Can’t Get Laid
Not every teenager is lucky enough to get their own car. If you do have your own set of wheels, the last thing you should do is always take your mom’s car instead! You run the risk of not only having the car taken away but your mom also calling you out online. This savage mom did exactly that when she listed her son’s Volkswagen Jetta for sale. It was nice while it lasted. Or was it?
In her post, she called out her son by saying his car was no longer needed since he borrowed hers whenever he felt like it. But that was just the beginning: she then wrote that the backseat was in pristine condition since he could never get laid. The nail in the coffin was insulting her son’s driving, which every teenage boy loves to hear.
Mom Loves You On Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day can be the best or the worst day of the year, depending on your relationship status and what you’re looking for in life. If you’re in a happy, loving relationship, you have the day to celebrate your bond with one another. If you’re single and don’t want to be, Valentine’s Day is an unhelpful reminder that you haven’t found “the one” yet.
For savage moms, Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to poke fun at their single kids. One mom sent a box of brownie mix to her child with the promise of making brownies so “you don’t feel empty inside.” Aw, at least mom loves you on Valentine’s Day. Good thing someone does. You might even get some delicious brownies out of this hurtful joke.
You’ve Heard Of Pick Your Stuff Up?
Being a savage mom doesn’t always mean that you need to be a creative one. Sometimes, you’re just so sick and tired of your kids not pulling their weight that you just have to be direct to get your point across. That’s what this mom did when she asked her kid if he’d heard of the fun Christmas tradition “elf on the shelf” and compared it to his fun little trick.
“Sock on the floor” doesn’t really have the same ring to it. At all. But nothing’s more effective than a good-old fashioned demand in all-caps. She really tried to get her point across. Heard of picking your stuff up? Get ready for no more stuff on the floor! Maybe the Elf will do it?
World’s Worst Mom Gives Top Review
Because you never know what you’re going to get when shopping on Amazon, you should always check out the reviews when buying something. That way, you won’t miss a review from savage moms like this one. This floral dress was recommended by a woman who identifies as the World’s Worst Mom – at least, that’s what we’re guessing her daughter calls her.
Not only does this dress look pretty and fit her daughter well, but it was also the perfect distraction for this mom when she had to listen to her daughter insult her. She could tune out and focus on the pretty flowers, wondering if she should have spent the equivalent money on a pack of birth control pills in 1997 instead. Oh what life could have been.
Cringe Kid Can’t Work At McDonalds
Ah, one of our favorites. People demeaning fast-food workers on Facebook. To make it worse, this guy posted an insult to McDonalds workers combined with a sex-joke reference. Who doesn’t love seeing their feed filled with jabs at people just trying to make a living? We know one person who doesn’t: this guy’s mom.
She was not about to tolerate the rude post, and she wasted no time telling her son how disrespectful it was. Not to mention, he couldn’t even keep a job at McDonalds himself! That’s pretty cringey to make fun of a place that you couldn’t even keep up with long enough to support yourself. She had every right to go that far. Applause all around!
Savage Mom Makes Things Personal
It’s becoming increasingly common for teenagers to have social media accounts. Even though many 16-year-olds think they know all about how the world works, it’s still their parents’ responsibility to ensure that they’re interacting with other people online in a respectable manner. This savage mom taught her son a lesson by making things extra personal…
After she caught her son spreading personal information about a girl on Facebook in order to make her mad, she thought she would give him a taste of his own medicine. She forbade him from using Facebook and posted a message on his account, telling everyone that she would share his personal information as punishment. Everyone now knows this guy was a bedwetter until the age of 8! Ouch.
Reverse-Nepotism: Son Can’t Get A Day Off Work
Nepotism isn’t a new concept. Business owners throughout the world pass on their companies to their children and other family members, even when their loved ones have no business experience. High-ranking employees often hire their friends for new positions even when there are more qualified candidates for the job. Friends and family members also may receive more favorable treatment in the workplace, like fast-tracked promotions and raises.
But have you heard about reverse nepotism? This savage mom is making it clear to her son that their relationship is not relevant in the workplace. No favoritism here. Sure, she hired him. That doesn’t mean she’s going to give him an off day for his birthday. Request slip denied! Maybe they’ll remember to buy him a cake for the office.
My Biggest Obstacle Was Raising You
No parent will ever say that the job is easy. Each child has their own unique personality that can come with unpredictable ups and downs. Even when you do everything you can to be the best parent possible, your child may still grow up with unresolved behavioral issues and emotional struggles that make parenting feel impossible at times.
This savage mom carries a reminder of raising a difficult child with her at all times by keeping a photo of her son in her wallet – but not his siblings. When he asked why, she told him it was because there was no bigger problem than raising him. He’s not going to be able to live this one down…
Not Immune To Getting Called Out
There’s a longstanding debate between a small part of the population that is against vaccinations and everyone else. Is it just us, or do the people against vaccinating seem to post a disproportionate amount of content online about how they are against vaccines? Anyway, this guy referenced the Matrix to let everyone know since he has an immune system, he doesn’t need vaccines.
Sure, he thinks that his immune system protects him from illness and disease. But no one’s immune to getting called out by their savage mom. She responded by reminding all of his online friends that he’s fully vaccinated. That would have been enough to bring him shame but she kindly also let him know it was an embarrassing attempt at good content. How can he Matrix his way out of this one?
Savage Comment Gets The Most Likes
Nothing validates your social media venting like positive reactions from your friends and followers. One daughter took to Facebook to complain that she would pay to be thin, which got her 25 likes. Go on girl! Her mom however wasn’t about to let her moan about something that was in her control. She reminded her in the most savage way that her theory is indeed doable if she used some of her earnings on a gym membership.
After a reply like that, this daughter has no excuses but to sign up for the local country club and hit the weights! The best part about this interaction is that the mom’s comment received more likes than the daughter’s original post. As much as we love relatable complaints, we love people who call them out even more.
We Hope That’s Not A Permanent Marker…
Cohabiting a household with messy people is not enjoyable if you’re someone who prefers a clean and orderly living space. Things get worse when you’re a busy mom who has to constantly reprimand all the men in the house to have basic decency and not pee all over the bathroom floor! There’s a toilet bowl for a reason.
This savage mom was fed up – and she wasn’t afraid to let everyone know it. She wrote a message on the inside of the toilet seat telling everyone the honest truth. It shouldn’t be that hard to aim where you pee. We hope that’s not a permanent marker, or that’s a message that they will be sure to never forget. From the looks of it, though, this family needs the reminder. Or family therapy. Who knows.
Taking It Back To The Basics
The best moms have a special gift of knowing what their children need and providing it for them before their children even know themselves. Savage moms will tell their kids exactly what they need to hear with a dose of brutal honesty. Check out this text message that this one mom sent to her single son.
She found the perfect simple guide explaining how to get a girlfriend. Ouch. The best part is that this picture book was clearly written for elementary schoolers, complete with illustrations drawn by the children themselves. Sometimes you need to take your adult son back to the basics so he can land a date. Good luck in the playground buddy.
Moms Have The Monopoly On Personal Space
Daughters often hit an age when all they want is some distance from their mothers. It’s the time of their lives when they want to come into themselves. They want to be their own people with their preferences and identities. They’re not afraid to tell their moms that they need personal space, and lots of it.
A savage mom won’t just give in to her daughter without getting in a witty remark first. When her daughter let her know that she was all up in her space, this mom replied with a sharp-witted reminder of where she came from in the first place. With that being said, we can bet that she does not want her daughter coming back there just as much as her daughter wants some separation.
Two Can Play That Game
As a mom, you can sometimes be surprised at how lazy your kids can be. You want to give your kids everything so that they have the best lives possible and sometimes, they take advantage of that. Savage moms keep this in mind and keep their kids on their toes by being the lazy one once in a while.
One mom was watching TV with her son when she realized she could use his texting addiction to her advantage. She knew he would rush up when he heard his phone ring with a text. He went straight to the kitchen to check it, only to discover that it was a message from his mom asking him to come back with her desired snacks. Seeing as you’re up already… very well-played mom.
Mom Reminds Son That He’s Not Better Than Other People
Some of us like to use social media as a way to feel better about ourselves. Log into Facebook, brag about your “wealth” and “accomplishments” and hit post. This guy tried to one-up his followers by saying that his parents didn’t buy his car. Status stealing seems a far stretch here. We’re also rolling our eyes.
But his mom wasn’t about to let him get away with his annoying, seemingly untrue, content. She reminded him in a comment that his parents bought his first truck and paid for the insurance for him. Sure, maybe he owns his car now, but it certainly didn’t begin that way. What’s so bad about having your parents supporting you, anyway?
Don’t Try To Turn The Tables
No matter how hard you try to keep certain things from your mom and play it cool, she’s going to find out. One way to defend yourself from your mom’s line of questioning is to turn the tables back on her. That’s what this kid tried to do when his mom asked why he wasn’t in class. He hit her with a jab at her not working hard enough either.
Unfortunately, he didn’t account for the fact that his mom is a straight-up savage who wasn’t going to let him change the line of attack. She shut him down with a simple reminder that she’s not failing out of work unlike he is academically. We bet this mom is a boss in the workplace too.
The Mom That Competes With Her Daughter
There comes a point as a mom when you realize that your daughter is no longer the little girl that needs you to take care of her all the time. She is growing into a woman. Most moms are happy to see their daughters become their own people, but savage moms can’t help but compete with their daughters when presented with an easy opportunity to do so.
This mom got a selfie from her beautiful daughter saying “I’m pretty”. Naturally, she had to take it up a notch and responded with a selfie of her own and a message saying “I’m prettier”. It’s all friendly fun here, but we don’t think there’s a prettier one of the two – both of them are stunning. Great genes make great content!