Siblings Who Need To Get A Clue
We’ve all got the power to pick our own family. But sometimes, the folks we’re actually blood-related to end up being our ride-or-die crew. Having a brother or sister in your life can be a blessing as well as a headache. It’s like they’re similar enough to coexist, but they’ve got their own wild ideas, strong opinions, and, let’s face it, the occasional questionable life choices. Thankfully, despite the occasional fight, everyone loves a funny moment with their siblings. But, truth be told, sometimes those moments are only a thing because your sibling is dumber than a pile of rocks! Check out this list of siblings who seriously don’t have a clue about their relatives, the sane world, or anything else at all!
How Far From Home Is It?
To be fair, when we talk about semantics, there are two sides to the coin. Neither is a bad idea, but they sure require different levels of planning. If you’re eyeing that new Spider-Man “Far From Home,” well, that might involve some serious logistics like buying plane tickets and whatnot. On the flip side, if you’re just itching to catch “Spider-Man: Far From Home,” all you need is to snag a ticket and get ready for a fun night out at the movies!
Is it wrong to hope that the dumb one is younger? That way, they can use age as an excuse for looking so laughably out of it. If not, then this is both funny and embarrassing.
Ignorance is Bliss, Not Safety
Don’t pet any type of snake that rattles. This is extremely basic knowledge. If it isn’t, now it is. This brother is either a complete moron or messing with his sibling. Playing with any sort of wildlife is a bad idea. When it comes to anything slithering, you can never be safer than staying far and away. Imagine if this was just an elaborate way to go from having siblings to finally being an only child.
Nobody would be that malicious, would they? We guess in this age of super-detailed Netflix documentaries, anything is possible. This has summer-hit written all over it.
The Cleanest Mouth in the Eatery
It’s not great for the planet, but a lot of restaurants often provide wet wipes for people. This way, if you’re too nasty to wash your hands, you at least have a wet baby wipe. They’re mostly for peace of mind and most definitely not for eating. Nobody informed this person’s poor misinformed sister.
She was squeezing soap onto her food for years! Surprisingly, she’s seemingly fine, or at least, that’s what we hope. But still, that doesn’t make it alright. You’d think someone would’ve spotted her doing that if they were regulars at the Colonel’s favorite place to eat. We guess none of those eleven herbs and spices were enough to mask that soap taste!
The Family That Tramps Together
Getting a tattoo, at least your first one, is a big decision. Not only are you marking yourself for life, but you’re also picking the prime real estate to showcase your selected artwork. Not everyone makes the best decisions. However, once it’s done, you kind of have to own it. This mom tried her best to dissuade her kids from following in her footsteps.
Instead, it didn’t discourage the whole family; it actually made them eager to dive into some tattoo fun together! Why settle for just one person rocking a tiger tramp stamp when you could have a whole squad of them, cruising together in a lifetime of embarrassment? Nice try Mom, but it looks like you’re not winning this one.
Not a Structurally Sound Idea
Carpentry and construction, well, they’re a lot trickier than people realize. It’s not as easy as pounding some nails into a bunch of wood and hoping for the best. You’ve got to measure things over and over, have a solid plan in place, and be darn sure you’re not about to throw everything away with poor choices. Only after all that are you good to start swinging that hammer.
While resourceful, this kid didn’t really accomplish whatever this project was supposed to be. Luckily, he still looks young enough to learn from these kinds of mistakes. If he were much older or a licensed contractor, things would’ve taken a dramatically different turn.
Your Brother Doesn’t Want You
Let’s be crystal clear, getting intimate with your siblings is a big no-no. Beyond having a healthy family bond, crossing that line can lead to a whole heap of problems and mental anguish. Now, it’s perfectly okay if you’re not thrilled about your brother or sister’s choice of a partner. Not every choice is a home run, right? But there’s absolutely no reason to act possessive and go beyond the boundaries of what’s acceptable. That’s just taking things a bit too far.
Wanting to decapitate your brother’s girlfriend because she doesn’t fit your standards as a sister is insane. Take some deep breaths, call the family therapist, and give your brother (and his GF) some space. It doesn’t sound like this person’s in a good space to be with anyone.
Maybe He’s Ugly on the Inside
Here’s a golden rule: don’t resort to name-calling. It’s just not cool, and nobody enjoys being on the receiving end of that. Now, if you happen to be in a sibling squabble and you’re itching to score some points, a personal insult can be quite the weapon. But, be cautious about the ammunition you select. For instance, calling them “ugly” might seem like a clever jab in the heat of the moment. However, if you’re identical twins, doesn’t that mean you’re calling yourself ugly too? Ouch!
It does make you wonder if the brains were divvied up unevenly before birth, doesn’t it? If one has the looks and one doesn’t, but they’re twins, who wins? Perhaps the only true winner here is Mom, who can simply walk into another room and escape the whole sibling rivalry showdown.
Someone Had a Huge Grudge
Sibling rivalries and contests can get ridiculous. People can’t seem to let go of the smallest and least important things. Take a look at these two geniuses. One brother seemed to have scored a killer beachfront view. But rather than finding his own slice of paradise, his crafty sibling decided to just swipe it. Now, instead of simply shifting one apartment over (and maybe even sharing), this fella decided to go all out and build a whole new building right in front of his sibling’s view! Talk about taking sibling rivalry to a whole new level!
It’s pretty wild that he managed to achieve his goal, even if the building looks a bit ridiculous. But hey, now he’s got a view his bro can only dream of. As for their parents, well, they’re probably scratching their heads at this whole level of pettiness. And you’re right, it’s safe to assume the brother without the view isn’t on the top of the visitation list these days!
The Planet Is Not Flat
The Earth is not flat. The orb on which we all live and try to survive is a sphere. There is no flatness to be discovered that makes us any different from the rest of the satellites in this galaxy. This trend of people believing the world is flat is dangerous and showcases why aliens won’t ever speak to us. This guy’s brother is so deep into this conspiracy theory that they can’t even comprehend how planes work.
Sir, planes can land in specific places after traveling because they follow the laws of physics. A lot of those laws are based on the fact, not the idea, that the world is round. Pick up a globe before you fly out next time.
Looks Like Muscle Memory To Us
What’s the proper way to open up a liquid container made of paper? That’s right! Just peel back a corner and pop it open. Of course, if it comes with a spout or screw cap, just use that. It’s easier, less messy, and doesn’t make your juice look like this afterward. Some people aren’t dumb. They just refuse to use their eyes.
In school, we didn’t have any fancy lids. We popped open the corner of our milk just like this. Hopefully, that’s what this bro was thinking. This is just a mistake you make once. Any more than that and someone else should be opening his cartons going forward.
Someone Break Her Out of the Pyramid
To reiterate: pyramid schemes are a scam. You can even start calling them pyramid scams and you wouldn’t be wrong. The idea that you have to pay into a job to make money is already dubious. If the business model after that is to exploit friends and families to “work” for you, then you’re no better than the scammers. That’s not a business, it’s indentured servitude with paperwork.
Also, who’s calling $350 rich? If nobody is aware, that’s not going to get you far as an adult. Just quit while you’re “ahead” and get a real job with a W-2 and HR. It may not be as exciting, but it’s definitely less illegal and stressful.
She’s Fictional But Not Wrong
If this happened, then someone needs to talk to this little girl. As innovative as distance learning became thanks to the pandemic, there are still some things rooted in the past or older traditions. Just like at a brick-and-mortar school, some online classes still require students to ask permission to get water from their own sinks! It’s dumb, but it’s also about respect.
While the idea of stopping someone from standing in their own house is stupid, the response is almost as bad. What kid is talking like this? Good thing the teacher didn’t hear. Do they still wash people’s mouths out with soap?
Who Has The Brain of a Whale?
Fun fact to share with you today – whales are mammals like us. Another fun fact – unlike most mammals, whales don’t have legs. There’s no way you can compare your lower extremity strength to a whale because it lacks those. Unless you’re talking about your flipper speed, in which case, go right ahead. Be sure to document it, too. For everyone else, stop saying things like this.
You’re going to look dumb in front of families and friends. It’s a good thing this dude’s brother told him off instead of someone in a position of power. How little do you have to know to think your legs are as strong as a whale’s? Technically, an infant’s legs are stranger than a whale’s.
Does She Not Know How Genetics Work?
Different families have different chemistries that bring them together. Some people have two moms or two dads. Others have neither. Some have different dads but the same mom. All-in-all, as long as people are cared for, it doesn’t matter. Some people take relations very seriously. They’ll even dismiss family members that they’re not related to anymore due to their own idiocy!
Just because you have a different dad than your sibling doesn’t mean you’re not related. Y’all have the same mom? Awesome, then you’re still sisters. Easy peasy. One of you just got the brains and the other got attention online for being themself.
You’re Right, It’s a Stupid Question
Birth control can, and has been, used for more than just preventing births for a while now. In addition to being prophylactic, it can help balance out hormones and clear up skin! Millions of people around the world use it for a variety of needs. That’s why it should be readily available and not hidden behind legislation and stupidly high prices.
It should also come with comprehensive instructions for safe use that are idiot-proof. We know it comes with instructions, but the idiot-proof is important here. To answer this person’s question: no, you don’t need to adjust to the time before taking your pills.
He Done Did it a Little Wrong
Measure twice and cut once. That’s how most construction projects go. If you’re unsure how tall something is, just find an accurate way to measure it. That means you need to use a proper ruler or something similar. Copying and pasting someone’s photo and guesstimating isn’t a good way to go about learning a height.
It’s inaccurate. It’s silly. It’s dumb. It’s never going to get you anywhere but on a list like this. This person’s brother was trusted with power tools after revealing this was his genius measuring method. This whole family needs to be brought in for assessment.
Not a Lion in the Slightest
Not only is it a famous jewel from Hollywood history, but the Pink Panther is also a chill cat that never gets his tail in a twist. This wiley animated feline has been in shows and movies for decades. While his designation is in his name, not everyone is clear on who the Pink Panther actually is. In case anyone is still confused, he’s not a lion.
If he were a real animal, he’d be a…wait for it…panther. They’re not lions. In fact, panthers are in their own little group of felines! Science is amazing, huh? There’s no trick here either. We’re not kidding when we say the Pink Panther is a panther, not a lion.
Someone Made Up Their Mind
Having a sibling to confide in can be life-changing. Knowing that there’s someone who understands you and you can turn to that’s also family is such a wonderful thing. The trouble is, just because you go to a sib for advice, that won’t fix a problem. You either need to heed advice or find something else to solve your problem.
If the problem is a boyfriend, and you decide you’re better off with them, then just say that. Don’t log onto social media and put your sister on blast like this. Not only won’t you get any more help, but she won’t be there to help you pick up the pieces if things fall apart.
No Artificial Facts Were Stated
Food is a lot more processed than anyone realizes. From unnatural ingredients to dying food to make it more appealing, a lot of products aren’t just food on the shelf. They have a lot of stuff to make them appear how we expect them to look. As people move toward a more natural diet or lifestyle, many are calling out these brands for adding a ton of unwanted stuff.
Before you jump on the bandwagon, make sure you understand what it is you’re made about. Just because a label has a bunch of colors and whatnot doesn’t mean the food has the same color scheme, bro. Simmer down and enjoy your cereal. It’s fine. You’re just dumb.
You Sister Is Very Uninformed
Even if you’re not a member of the United Kingdom or the European Union, you’ve probably heard of Brexit. The disastrous decision to leave the EU left the UK as an independent country again. Without any of the protection or benefits of being part of the EU, the country chose to stand on its own.
While voted into existence by the majority of the country at the time, a lot of people still aren’t sure what Brexit actually is. While not a person, it does involve a lot of people. This person may not be into politics, but this is common knowledge! If someone educates you, don’t double down on showing how clueless you are.
Set the Timer Again Please
Not everyone is a whizz in the kitchen. That’s fine. We can’t all be great chefs. It’s good to know a few helpful dishes to make though, so you don’t die of hunger when you can’t DoorDash anymore. Microwaving food, in theory, should be the easiest form of food production. Stick something in the box. Press buttons. Let it go.
The only thing you have to do is make sure it doesn’t turn into charcoal. This little sister didn’t realize that. We’re not sure why the fork is also black, but those shouldn’t be in the microwave either. Y’all do know metal makes things spark and explode in those boxes, right? Don’t eat that nugget or use that fork anymore.
We Shouldn’t Call Them That
Fake news, altered headlines, propaganda, and a whole host of other annoying crap are constantly floating around social media. These lies and wild theories help facilitate violence and uncertainty in people. They also encourage people to act weird and even ostracize themselves from their families. Most conspiracy theories have been easily debunked. That doesn’t stop some of the steadfast believers from refusing to see reason.
Some will even think they reveal great truths about the world and universe. Those aren’t spoilers. They’re just lies and fabrications created to confuse people. Don’t let your family fall for this trash. Someone better have pulled this sister aside and showed them the actual truth before they went too far off the deep end.
Age Doesn’t Define Intelligence of Aptitude
Pop quiz: how many days are in a year? Great. Now, if you have a sibling, chances are, two of those days are birthdays. Regardless of when they appear on a calendar, the year is kind of the important thing here. If someone was born two years ahead of you, but your birthday is sooner in the year, they’re still two years older than you.
There’s just a time when there’s less of a gap between ages. That’s it. This person’s sister may or may not be a rocket scientist. We’re not sure. What we are sure of is that math isn’t their strong suit.
Painted It With White-Out?
Finally having something expensive of your very own is a nice feeling. Whether you saved up to afford something or were given a gift, taking care of your things is something we all have to learn eventually. It teaches pride and responsibility. You can also learn a bit of individuality from having something that reflects your own taste.
Of course, that means, you may need to alter some stuff from time to time. If that’s what this guy was thinking, fine, but the execution is pretty bad. Why paint a brand new keyboard that lights up with something that light can’t peek through? This is a great example of a terrible idea and even worse execution.
Well, How Red Was It?
Driving is hard! You have to be confident enough to pilot a steel death machine while also assuming everyone else knows what they’re doing too. Add to that that traffic laws are different depending on where you are in the world, and you have a fun activity that’s absolutely terrifying. Driving is all about trust. Drivers should trust each other to know the rules of the world.
Passengers should trust their drivers not to do stupid things like this. There is no such thing as a left turn on red. In Texas, and maybe other places, you can turn right on red, but that’s it. Left on red, regardless of the shade of red, is super illegal. How can a light be “not that red” anyway?
Funny, But Not Great Timing
Humor and comedy are all about having good timing. If you have something hilarious to say, just say it. Make sure it’s the opportune time for everyone to enjoy a laugh though.** If you time a joke well, everyone can have fun!** If you don’t, then your mom may get upset that you offered to drink her cremated brother.
It’s a fine line, but a good comic can read the room, or car, and know when to open their mouth. This wouldn’t have been one of those moments. Those things come with time though. Just, don’t drink your uncle and brush up on your delivery, kiddo.
A Proud Coming Out Story
Being gay can mean one of two things. Either someone is attracted to a member of the same sex as them or they’re super happy. Like many words in English, gay means multiple things depending on context. Either way, it probably isn’t the best thing for a kid to be screaming out at a dinner party.
While you should never be ashamed to come out, at least know what you’re coming out about before you say anything. Those parents must have been just as confused as the dinner guests! Appetize, entree, son’s random coming out, and then dessert sounds like an intense dinner party. As long as everyone’s happy though, who cares?
The Escalator Man Will Provide
Kids say and believe the darndest things. We’ve all had those moments where we’re convinced we know how something works. This little guy at one time thought someone lived under the escalators at the mall! That’s pretty believable from the eyes of a kid. How do those stairs keep on rotating?
Someone must be operating them! It’s a good thing he learned quickly before his dad ran into any trouble. Imagine explaining that to mall security or someone else who doesn’t quite get why a kid is screaming that his real dad is under the escalator. That must have been a stressful shopping trip.
Someone Needs to Learn About Incest
Don’t date your brother or sister. Don’t have children with them. Don’t start a family with them. All of those scenarios are wrong and bad. Inbreeding and incest lead to a lot of heartache and medical issues for children down the line. It’s also a terrible way to spend your life.
The whole point of having a family is to expand it with people from outside of your gene pool. Thankfully, this sounds like some ignorant little kid talk. If she kept on like that into her older childhood, we’d be concerned, especially if she wasn’t from the South.
It Turns Out that You’re NOT the Sibling
Telling your younger brother or sister that they’re adopted is a pretty old and time-honored tradition amongst siblings. Almost all of us with older sibs have at one point been told we weren’t originally from our families. It’s almost never true and easily disproved. Most of the time, nobody has any paperwork to back up ridiculous lies like that.
Some savvy sibs saw that that could be an issue and thought ahead! Instead of letting the joke die on the vine, this person’s older bro or sis went the extra mile. How devious do you have to be to rustle up fake adoption forms? Also, how gullible do you have to be to fall for them?