People Who Hilariously Forgot How to Speak
Humans are complex and smart creatures (for the most part). Our brains are working all the time to ensure we can interact with the world around us and respond to every situation we find ourselves in. The problem with that is we’re not entirely great at thinking on our feet. Sure, some people can do it. For the rest of us, we tend to get a little bit of head gas every now and then. You know what we mean, a brain fart!
Words elude us or we’re convinced we know something that can’t possibly be true. It’s nothing to feel bad about. It happens to everyone. Some of those moments are just funnier to look back on than others.
No Ma’am, Not The Right Word
The insect world has a lot to offer the planet. Bugs are essential parts of many ecosystems! That doesn’t mean we understand how they operate. What we do know is that quite a few are aesthetically GORGEOUS to gaze upon. Butterflies, ladybugs, even praying mantises are all very pretty. Do you think they know how attractive they are? If so, there’s no way they can keep their feelers off of each other.
That doesn’t mean that incest is part of their mating rituals. Please don’t get these two confused. The funny part is that they have the exact same amount and type of letters. Perhaps we’re the prudes and bugs (and this person) know something we don’t.
Do Clouds Even Have Names?
What’s that ominous thing lurking over there? What? You can’t see it? It’s just over the horizon! Oh, it’s just a cloud? Sorry, we haven’t been getting out much these days. Thanks to the state of the world, we’ve all been living in an anonymous Internet universe for quite some time. Once we were able to head back out into nature we got surprised by some common things.
Clouds, not the computer-related ones, are pretty neat. They’re giant fluffy sky blankets that deliver rain and fun shapes to the world. For all the work they do it’s kind of sad that they don’t have individual names. That doesn’t mean they’re completely anonymous, or ominous.
Was It The Best Idea?
Quesadillas are always a good idea. There’s something about lightly fried tortillas and cheese that hits home. Any case of the munchies (or midnight snack time cravings) can be remedied with a fat stack of quesadillas. It’s basically a case of good ideas. Maybe that’s what this delightfully incorrect person was talking about. We’d like to give them the benefit of the doubt.
A nine-layer quesadilla is a great idea, but they’re not one and the same in terms of spelling. Someone obviously didn’t spend enough time paying attention in Spanish (or English) class. Maybe spell check should be a requirement on all social media platforms? That or a quick reread should be compulsory before you start nibbling.
As Long As The Chicken Said It’s Ok
Consent is super important and a requirement for everything. There’s no joke there. That being said, some things are unable to say yes or no, like this plate of chicken parmesan. There’s no way it could give permission for someone to use the wrong words in the picture. But this person thinks they got the a-ok to put this meal’s “face” on the Internet.
What’s worrisome is that they must not know the difference between permission and parmesan. Both are great! However, only one tastes good on food. The other tastes like nothing at all. We give them permission to try this post again after a bit of proofreading.
Was It A Total Knockout?
Everyone has the occasional reason for missing, skipping, or conveniently disappearing from class. We get it. School’s tough and everyone needs the occasional break. Sometimes the stress from sitting and staring at a chalkboard all day just wears people down. It’s good to take some time off, get your braces tightened, and throw down with someone in the street.
Just remember, the first rule of Dental Fight Club is that you never talk about Dental Fight Club. Oh, and you also have to make an appointment before facing off against your opponent. Just because it’s a street-fighting ring doesn’t mean we can’t be organized. You may even get a discount on your bill if you win the match!
It’s Not Hard To Spill
English is a tricky thing! Even when two people speak it fluently some stuff can get lost in translation. It also doesn’t help that English takes a whole mess of words from other places and uses it in weird ways. Plus, brand names are replacing regular words. Take Eggos for example. These are synonymous with frozen breakfast waffles. Why can’t you say frozen breakfast waffles? Because Eggos is shorter and makes more sense.
It’s become so common that even waffles are disappearing from the lexicon entirely! Plus, it’s not the easiest word to remember how to spell. This is a pretty forgivable brain fart. What isn’t is forgetting how to spell “spell” and deciding on “spill”. C’mon, spill the tea, you got lazy and gave up, right?
Cup Is Only Three Letters…
Back in our school days, the longer we stayed up studying the more we forgot. Those late-night cram sessions and endless pots of coffee never seemed to do the trick. Obviously, the movies lied to us when we were younger. After a few nights of non-stop studying/partying/avoiding homework we started to go a little sideways. Small things like forgetting the word for CUP started to become more common.
Our friends were right there with us. Basically, that meant they weren’t very helpful at remembering things. At least during those times we got creative with calling things alternative names! If anything, we should be rewarded for depriving ourselves of sleep. In exchange for restless nights, we basically wrote a whole new language.
At Least They Embraced It
Teachers are supposed to have all the answers. At least, that’s what we thought growing up. Once we got out of school we realized they’re people just like us. They just have the fancy credentials that permit them to educate future generations. It’s a pretty sweet, thankless, and underpaid job. For all the stuff they go through, more people should be paying attention. Some teachers aren’t even allowed to make mistakes!
You know what, if they forget something but recover, we just have to accept whatever they come up with. This professor actually made a great recovery here. A rocket is technically a space machine! If anything, they were throwing their class a curveball to see if they were paying attention.
Aren’t They The Same Thing? Kind of?
Did you know that there are 206 bones in the human body? Each of them has a name and a purpose. Most people don’t know all of them (unless you’re a doctor). The rest of us have a basic understanding of what things are called. With all the different terms for stuff, it’s only natural someone, somewhere, would mess up and invent their own nicknames for a body part.
What makes this great is that they’re not completely wrong. Ankles and wrists are kind of similar in what they do. They connect our long bones to appendages! Besides, “hand ankles” sound adorable! That also turns all of our bracelets into anklets, and we’re here for that.
That’s Nothing To Apologize For
Having a swimming pool is a lot of fun. You basically have access to a private watering hole all year! Splashing away without a care in the world sounds nice. Then the bill comes for the first maintenance and you realize why everyone prefers someone else’s pool for a good time. Having a pool costs money, and maintaining it isn’t free.
The smallest drop of something that isn’t water can throw the whole thing off balance. Some pool owners can’t help it. Incontinence happens. It may be inconvenient, but that’s life. Sometimes you just have to learn all pools have a p in them, and you’ll need to filter it out.
What School Has That Technology?
Indoor plumbing has changed the game for billions upon billions of people. The invention of modern sewer systems has improved the health of everyone fortunate enough to use them. The tricky part is sometimes our most useful porcelain-filled room isn’t always available. When we can’t get to the potty in time, there’s always an outdoor option. Port-a-potties may not be the most sanitary, but they can help out in a pinch.
Portal potties are something entirely different. They also don’t exist (yet). When that day comes you better believe we’ll have no reason to ever rise from our thrones again! Until that day happens, someone shouldn’t be posting these signs around. Some of us got way too excited to do our morning business.
That Doesn’t Sound Very Healthy
Caesar wasn’t the greatest ruler Rome ever saw. However, he’s one of its most well-known dictators. Most of the time anyone with that title isn’t remembered fondly. Luckily for Caesar, there’s a delightful salad that bears his name! Caesar Salads are packed with flavor and don’t whine when you poke them with sharp things like forks and knives.
If they could talk, maybe all that stabbing would result in a seizure or something. Thankfully, we don’t have to worry about that. If we went off of this tweet then someone needs to get those salads looked at by a medical professional. Salads aren’t supposed to seizure.
What Pieces Are In It?
Peace is a fleeting and depressingly unobtainable thing for most. When we happen upon those moments we like to seize them and brag to everyone that we’ve found everyone else’s ultimate goal. “Peace & Blessings”, “World Peace”, etc. are all so popular because they sound great in theory. Peace for all requires everyone to contribute their own piece to the overall puzzle.
This tongue-twister is brought to you by the confusing mess that is English. Fun fact: Peace and piece are two COMPLETELY different words. Just because they sound alike doesn’t make them interchangeable, sir. Now we’re staring at the fire and deer and wondering what pieces are included in what.
Spelling Isn’t Part Of The Curriculum
Turning someone into a toad with the snap of our fingers sounds like a lot of fun. We’ll even settle for having to use a magic wand. Either way, we want magical powers. That’s the point. Since that’s not happening anytime soon (is it?) we’ll settle for telling other people it’s not possible. Towing a car can be just as satisfying as magically turning an enemy into a toad.
What makes this all super upsetting is that someone working at a SCHOOL wrote this. Do they not know the difference? Are they secretly a frog in disguise? What’s going on here? Perhaps the teachers should spend less time policing the parking lot and more time proofing their work.
Don’t Get T-Boned Out There
The dinosaurs were pretty much wiped out by a giant space rock smashing into the planet. That rock has a special name. Who knows what it is? Did you guess “meteor”? You’re correct! Did you guess “meteor” but spell it “meatier”? Then you’re both right, wrong, and have a weird imagination. Meteor showers are pretty common. Thankfully, we haven’t had any extinction events from them recently.
A meatier shower isn’t a thing at all. First, you’d need a meat shower before things got meatier. While that sounds delicious and dirty at the same time, that’s not why we don’t party with velociraptors on the weekends. Remember kids, context AND spelling matter when asking a question.
Better Than The Gatorade Flu
Time for a history lesson! How much do you know about the bubonic plague? It was a pretty scary thing in the 1300s that wiped out half of the entire European population. Yeah, total horror movie scenario. Even today it hangs out. It’s just not nearly as deadly with the advances of modern science. It’s also a pretty well-known term.
That doesn’t mean we don’t forget it from time to time. Bubonic plague is deadly. Blue tonic plague sounds like a nasty sugarless drink during the summers. Don’t scare people with the blue tonic plague. It doesn’t exist. We don’t need any more conspiracy theories running around on social media.
Now We’re Thirsty
There’s nothing quite as aggravating as dealing with a difficult customer, especially when you have no idea what they’re talking about. If you walked into an office supplies store and asked if they serve beverages, they’d probably respond the same way this poor employee did. We can understand how they mixed up “laminate” and “lemonade” but they didn’t need to be such a jerk about it.
But perhaps more stores should consider selling lemonade, especially during the summer. People can grab a cold refreshing drink while they’re running errands. That sounds like a great idea! And to think it all came about because of a silly misunderstanding. See, these brain fart moments have their upsides.
Words Are Confusing And Tricky Things
Not everyone is the most articulate. You don’t have to be! It’s a fun skill to have. Even if you’re not great with words it doesn’t mean you can’t hold a conversation or get your point across. While it may come easier for some, everyone knows how conversations work (for the most part). If you’re boxed in and can’t remember a word then you know what to do, right?
Take a breath, or a sip of water, and allow yourself a second to think. If you don’t, you may just blurt out the first thing that comes into your head. Sometimes that’s good. Other times it makes you sound like this person.
That’s More Words Than The Original
Memories are weird things. They’re basically our version of an event that happened in the past that we have no way of recreating 100% accurately. Even when you remember something, you’re only remembering the last time you thought about it! Isn’t that weird? No wonder people can’t remember everything. We’re not even designed to! However, sometimes you just HAVE to remember something exactly as it was.
It’s pretty ironic when we forget the word “memory”. It goes from ironic to funny when we substitute it for something longer, like “remembrance thought”. Still accurate, but way too many syllables. If anything, this person sounds much smarterer (not a word) by adding all those extra letters.
We’re Using That Word Now
Paws up if you’re a fan of puppies! Tubby bellies, not-so-terrible breath, and that little pitter-patter of paws are all adorable. We could be surrounded by those small dog babies all day. We also call them weird things. No matter the term, everyone knows what we’re talking about. “Doggo”, “puppers”, “furry babies”, all names are good names for them.
Sometimes, when we really have gas in our head (classy way of saying brain fart), we think up whole new terms for our favorite animals! If anything, this person is a champion for giving us something new to call a baby dog! Small dog babies for the win!
Does It Taste Like Car?
Cooking is an art. That’s not up for debate. Sure, recipes help teach us what we should do to achieve a certain result. However, with the nearly limitless range of ingredients, we all end up making our own creations most of the time. That’s what makes it so much fun! You never know what’s going to taste good until you make it. That doesn’t mean some things aren’t supposed to go together.
Carbonara is an established Italian dish consisting of eggs, cheese, pasta, and usually some sort of meat. Car banana is a mashup of nonsense words that result in a non-digestible mess of fruit and automotive parts. One would make a filling and tasty meal. The other would result in the weirdest trip to the ER ever. Also, you’d have to walk since you COOKED YOUR CAR.
Where Are Linda And The Kids?
Sometimes a random word for something becomes a name. That’s how languages develop and we just have to accept it. One day you’re stringing along some barbed wire, the next, you’ve decided to name your new kid Barb. It happens. It’s not even an incorrect use of the word. What is incorrect is giving your barbed wire a nickname nobody else uses.
A bob is a type of haircut or a person. Never has it ever been used to describe sharp wires intended to ward off, or keep in, people/intruders/random creatures. You’d think someone would have double-checked this listing before trying to sell it. Bad naming aside, $25 for a whole bunch of home security BARBED wire doesn’t sound like a bad deal.
Those Onions Have A Rap Sheet
Everyone has a past. Sometimes we don’t make the best decisions. When that happens we pay for the consequences and move on. The same can’t be said for vegetables. Once a criminal, always a criminal in the grand vegetable kingdom! Don’t believe us? Take a look at this incriminating sandwich. Those poor onions can’t catch a break. It’s a pity they’re not caramelized instead of criminalized!
See what happens when you forget your words and think nobody will notice? Now we have to check with a parole officer before springing this sandwich out of the deli. At least the onions got out and moved on to something better. We’re not saying the system works, but spellcheck is a great way of making sure you don’t break any language laws.
Pastries Won’t Help This Time
Night Mode has changed the way we experience a big portion of the Internet. Are you chilling on the dark side? It’s super cool. Now the blinding whiteness of a screen is covered in a relaxing, and much less harsh, matte black. It makes everything easier to read and not nearly as much of an assault on our eyes. Sometimes websites make us do stupid things to activate it.
Or at least that’s what this person would have their friend believe. Turns out he can’t tell the difference between a croissant and that giant satellite in the sky. He’s doomed to have your eyes baked out of your skull by the brightness of your screen.
The Shovel Nano Is Cool Too
Who here remembers getting the original iPod? Nobody? Were you all born after it was released? Great, go back to paying attention in class. This one’s for your parents. How many of us old people remember the original iPod? When the Shuffle came out we were blown away! There was no screen, but it was TINY! So cool!
It also gave us an ever-changing playlist, so every song was a surprise. Fun fact, the only thing it really couldn’t do was dig a hole. That’s surprising seeing as how shuffle and SHOVEL sound nothing alike! Maybe this was a limited edition release or something.
It’s Not Completely Off, Kind Of
A doppelgänger is a funny-sounding German word that roughly means “a double of another person”. With billions of people on Earth, it’s not far-fetched to think there are a few others who look just like us. The problem is, not all of us speak German. That makes remembering how to spell this lengthy word tricky. Thankfully, it kind of sounds like its definition. A double banger, while not exactly the same, is at least in a similar ballpark.
However, unlike double bangers, you don’t necessarily want to do something adult with your double. It turns out neither did this person, but a brain fart was enough to make them forget what they actually wanted to say. Maybe their unfound twin can help bump that vocabulary bank up a bit.
No, Please Don’t Do That
Do not use tongues to pick up pastries. Don’t even use A tongue. No tongues. The only thing that should be touching bread that isn’t yours is a pair of TONGS. Tongues and tongs are different things in every way, shape, and form. They don’t even sound relatively similar. Whoever this bakery owner is, they must be used to taste-testing everything they make.
That’s fine. Your food, your choice. For the standard customer though, some health precautions should be considered. Maybe if there were gloves for the tongues, then that could work? We’re not sure. We’re not health inspectors. We’re sure if an actual one stopped for a visit they’d be just as irate as we are about the sign.
They’re Both Still Fast Food
Not every brain fart involves spelling or saying the wrong word. Sometimes wires get crossed and we completely forget where we are for a moment. Sure, it sounds scary on paper. However, in reality, it can lead to some really funny situations. Sometimes it’s not even your fault. If you’ve been to one fast food restaurant then you’ve basically been to them all.
After a few times they all kind of blur together. Not even the employees know where they’re working once they hit a certain amount of time behind the counter! You just gotta roll with those punches (and see if you can Supersize something when it’s not even on the menu).
Where’s The How Far Machine?
Trying to remember the name of every tool and knick-knack at the home improvement store is like an Olympic event. Some people recall those things better than others. Others won’t even make it to the podium (or through the first aisle) without breaking down in tears. You basically have to speak a whole new language when looking for that one specific piece of home improvement bliss.
The fun thing is, if you describe the tool you want someone out there will eventually understand you (hopefully). “Tape measure” has a lot of letters. That can be tricky. However, so does “how far machine”. At least that one sounds cuter. It sounds like something a character in a Dr. Suess book would use.
Maybe He Wasn’t Really Wrong?
Once you work in an industry long enough you stop thinking in basic terms. Your daily lexicon slowly becomes more and more complex. When someone comes around from outside the industry and asks you a question, you may not remember they don’t think like you do. Most of the time, people aren’t asking you to explain complex things that only you and a handful of others understand.
They’re usually asking something basic, like what color your work computer is. They have no intention of listening to a lecture. When you’re caught off-guard, or don’t know how to answer something simple, it makes sense to go to the obvious and just answer things directly.