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Divorce Is In The Cards For These Couples

Posted by M. Metzinger

Anyone who’s married knows it isn’t easy. Sharing your life with someone else may seem like a dream at the beginning, and there’s nothing better than living in the honeymoon phase. However, as time goes on it’s easier for couples to get annoyed with one another. Whether it’s everyday tasks or living together, relationships are difficult. Some couples go to therapy to improve communication and overall happiness. Others don’t mind broadcasting to the world that they’re having problems.  But these couples seem destined for divorce. While they could work things out, they aren’t showing any promising signs of improvement. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, sometimes it’s better to call it quits.

These married couples should consider divorce, for everyone’s sake!

reddit by u/El-Waffle

Let Them Eat Cake

The wedding cake is a major highlight of the ceremony. Sometimes people pop into a wedding just to get a photo or look at the cake. One of the best parts is the toppers. They usually depict the happy bride and groom. However, these figurines tell a very different story. We’re not sure whether to laugh or roll our eyes. 

reddit by u/isobobo

We think they were trying to be funny but can’t help but wonder if there’s some truth to this ‘joke’. This groom needs to lay off the video games and the energy drinks! They might’ve wanted to add a humorous touch, but we’re not sure if anyone’s laughing. This seems to be displaying a very real problem between the couple. 

Hubby’s at the Pub

This woman may have fixed an age-old problem. Her husband no longer needs to stay out late drinking with his friends. She took matters into her own hands to make sure he never needs to leave their house again. If he wants to drink the night away, he can stay home and do it. It also solves the issue of drinking and driving. 

reddit by u/ongong_abdnormal

This guy is in the doghouse–literally. However, he doesn’t seem to mind it. We wonder if his friends are going to come over to his pub. We’re curious if the wife will be bartending. She hasn’t fully solved the problem. He’ll still be up drinking, but he’ll be close by. Now she’ll also have to clean up after all his friends!

Annual Review

Companies have annual, quarterly, and monthly progress reports. This is to make sure all employees are on the right track. They also want to get accurate numbers to show investors how the business is doing. This guy decided to apply the same strategies to his marriage. Hopefully his wife is just getting rated and not berated! 

reddit by u/human-trashcan

She got ranked on traditional duties, such as cleaning, cooking, and even her performance in the bedroom! It’s clear who the boss is in this relationship. We’re not sure this is fair, but they did smile for the picture. If they decide to divorce, will she get severance pay? Is their whole relationship treated like a business?

Netflix and Not So Chilled

The pandemic was a drag for most people, but a few found a silver lining. It was a great time to catch up on DIY projects, home workouts, and Netflix series. Others found that the pandemic allowed them to spend more quality time with their loved ones. For some, it was too much time and caused a strain on many marriages. 

reddit by u/jkelly2133

This guy feels he’s had enough quality time with his spouse. He really wanted COVID to end so he could get back to watching sports and ignoring his wife. We hope his wife doesn’t see this comment. We hope she packed up and left when sports came back into his life. 

Weight Ultimatum

This one crosses the line from funny to toxic. This post should be in a handbook on how not to treat a spouse. This ultimatum is unreasonable– no one should use fidelity as a reward or suggest cheating as a punishment. Something as understandable as gaining a few pounds over the pandemic should not be cause for an open relationship. 

reddit

This woman shouldn’t be asking random people online whether this behavior is normal. One of the reasons this guy can act this way is because this woman doesn’t know how she should be treated. We’d tell her to run (not walk) away from this guy. Let him see who he wants to see, he should be someone else’s problem. 

Batman or Joker

We understand that fans of superhero films are extremely devoted, but this scenario takes the cake. The birth of a child is a momentous event, and a new Batman movie will come along again in a few years (well, maybe so will another child). This woman is not sure whether there’s something wrong with her husband’s choice between Batman and the birth of their son. 

reddit by u/IReallyDontCare91

This woman seems both generous and patient. The fact she isn’t livid about it would be amazing to most people. The answer should be obvious. It would be unthinkable for a father to prioritize a movie over his child. He’s worried about seeing it on another night because he doesn’t want spoilers. What about spoiling the experience of becoming a father?

Happily Ever After? Not Quite

Many Disney love stories end with the couple living happily ever after. We aren’t sure whether these folks are living a Disney dream or a nightmare. Perhaps his wife likes this shirt! If not he’s definitely in trouble. This would definitely send a confusing message to any children they might have.

reddit by u/febpee

Some women would love to be Disney villains. Cruella DeVille, Maleficent, and the Queen of Hearts are pretty cool roles many might want to play. It’s possible the husband and the wife have a good relationship and he’s just joking around. Even though we don’t know the nature of their relationship, it still seems in poor taste. 

Working at Marriage

People say marriage is work. This usually isn’t meant literally. Often people in a relationship divide up tasks. They may give each other feedback on how they’re doing with household chores. However, you’re going too far if you refer to your spouse as an employee. 

reddit by u/floodedwomb

If the wife is the employee, how is she getting paid? Does she get vacation time? What about sick leave? Does she get retirement, severance pay, or other benefits? Maybe she should quit her job…and without the 2 weeks’ notice. Her husband seems like one toxic boss. 

Talking to the Wall

It’s usually not a good idea to broadcast negative information about the people in our lives. Of course, people can claim they were joking, but it isn’t always convincing. There is something funny yet scarily truthful to this post. Since we don’t know this guy or his wife, we aren’t sure how to react. 

reddit by u/mpmwrites

We’re not sure if there’s something to this comment. We don’t know this couple, maybe she really doesn’t listen to him. Or maybe she does listen and her husband is being unreasonable. Regardless, we like how immediate this response was. It could be funny or sad depending on their dynamic.

Daddy Chart

This is really cringy. We saw a few checklists men give to wives, but in this case, the tables have been turned. This wife thought it was a good idea to create a chore chart with rewards for her husband. This looks similar to something she’d make for their kids. We wonder what a checklist of their marriage would look like!

reddit by u/beetlejuicex6-3

We are seriously creeped out that she refers to her own husband as “Daddy.” Clearly, this chart was meant to be displayed openly, but we hope it wasn’t. Especially given the reward for the last item, which seems like a private matter. We don’t think this couple is going to last very long. 

Scavenger Hunt

We’ve heard of fairy tales in which the prince has to jump many hurdles, like slaying a dragon to save a princess. However, these tasks are too much for a regular couple. We aren’t sure what this woman has against her husband, but she gave him a list of impossible things to find at the grocery store. 

reddit by u/echoshep

This is a mean thing to do, but we have to give the wife an A+ for creativity. We wish there were organic PopTarts, but we doubt that’ll ever happen. Perhaps if the wife puts as much creativity into her marriage instead of playing practical jokes, they might have a chance. 

(Not) Missing You

Although many women work, there are still many stay-at-home wives. However, this stay-at-home mom doesn’t fit the stereotype. She’s not someone out of a 1950s sitcom running out to greet her husband with a hot dinner while she’s wearing an apron and a pearl necklace. This lady isn’t having it. 

reddit by u/PanemPlayz

At first this post seemed funny but she really poured it on thick. Admitting she doesn’t miss her husband daily when he goes to work isn’t surprising. After all, he’s coming home every night. However, when she says he wrecks her day, we start to worry for her. Maybe they should be independent of each other for good. 

A Cry for Help

There are many ways of letting people know we’re in trouble. Facial expressions, body language, honest communication, and the list goes on. This guy wanted the world to know he wasn’t sure about what he was doing–or maybe he was just joking around. We can’t tell, but it certainly made for some memorable wedding pictures. 

reddit by u/TripWilson3

This stunt required planning. The groom had to know he would be kneeling at some point and people would see the bottom of his shoes. It’s certainly a message from the bottom of his heart. We wonder how the bride reacted when she came across this photo. 

Heartburn

A wedding cake can be beautiful, delicious, and certainly unforgettable. Every bride and groom wants a unique cake. We’re all familiar with the classic photo of the married couple feeding cake to each other. According to this guy it seems, there’s a fatal downside to that – heartburn that can last years!

reddit by u/tilaxate

It’s not even amusing because what he means is marriage itself causes suffering, not the cake. If this were true, it would mean all of the guests who ate the cake would be sick as well. But we get what he’s trying to say. If he’s that miserable, why did he get married in the first place?

Domestic Terrorism

Not everyone likes marriage, especially this guy. According to him it’s a take no prisoners conflict between two enemies. We aren’t sure whether he’s married or not. If he is, we feel sorry for his wife. Maybe he’s marriage-phobic as we certainly sense some anxiety in this post. 

reddit by u/Hi_El_Pu_Ba

This guy clearly considers himself an expert, maybe even a philosopher. He is certain in his definition of marriage yet none of these statements make sense. No, it’s not a business partnership. Then again, he doesn’t think there should be any common ground between the married couple–one must rule over the other. Pro-tip, don’t marry someone like this! 

Labor Force

The following brings up a highly unrealistic situation. It’s supposed to be cynical but it’s such a coincidence it’s hard to laugh about it. Yes, this would be a very bad situation for a woman giving birth. Has it ever happened? We aren’t sure, but we’re hoping it hasn’t

reddit by u/bigtiddyhimbo

There’s only one fictional scenario that fits this situation. It was in a rom-com from the 80s called Mickey and Maude. Offscreen, we’re not sure when a guy had to run between laboring women. More likely, the women are too busy giving birth to really notice this happening. 

Love Is Not Enough

This is a chilling post. This guy has either rationalized his terrible marital situation or is divorced and has words of “wisdom” to share. However, if people think love is important in a marriage –and most people do– it seems a bit depressing. Do any fully grown mature adults understand this?

reddit by u/whitisthat

While love alone may not be enough to sustain a marriage, we wouldn’t go as far to say it “means nothing in marriage.” Just because there isn’t an abundance of something all the time doesn’t mean it’s worthless. We hope he can find the love he doesn’t think exists. That is unless he’s going to bring this negative energy into his next relationship…

Uncivil War

Before and after photos can tell us a lot about a situation. We often compare photos of presidents before they were elected and after they leave office. They usually have a few more wrinkles and gray hair. The same is true with war. We can see the trauma on this guy’s face. The comment section reveals something else that could deteriorate a man. 

reddit by u/Knofferini

You guessed it, marriage. But do we agree? The thought of being with someone forever can sound like a curse to some and a blessing to others. This could be another joke from a happily married person–or it could be very real from someone who hates their life. We aren’t sure. 

Killing Me Softly

We remember hearing about this story, it’s pretty shocking. This woman wanted to murder her husband, but she didn’t want to get caught so she decided to do it slowly. This is about as gradual a murder plot as we can imagine, but eventually, she was caught red-handed on video. However, this commenter didn’t think the woman had to necessarily include the Drano. It seems like being married would be too much for him. 

reddit by u/seanak64

The person who posted this doesn’t sound very sympathetic. He implied all marriages kill you slowly – like adding Drano to your coffee. We doubt every situation is this bad. Marriage is hard, but comparing it to murder seems extreme. We feel bad for whoever’s married to him! 

Electile Dysfunction

Politics is a hot topic these days. The topic of politics comes up on social media, YouTube, and in our real-life conversations and dominates our discussions. Since elections happen every few years there’s always a chance for new disagreements. This person decided marriage was over based on how his wife voted. 

reddit by u/Chesapeake_Hippie

Divorce can be sad, but the commenters seem to believe the wife got the better end of the deal. At least she got to get rid of him! Who you vote for is a personal decision. People shouldn’t be telling their spouses what to do. We’re glad he cut her loose. 

Paternal Pest

Paternity leave is a relatively new concept. It gives fathers a chance to take off work and spend time with the new addition to their family. Mothers may find it useful to have their husbands around to help them out, too. However, this woman doesn’t agree–she’d rather have her husband go to work than at home. 

reddit by u/nowhereville543

We’re not sure what this woman’s motive is. It comes off as mean and rather sad. Sure any spouse can be annoying, but going so far as to deny him his paternity leave seems cruel. Her husband should start thinking of ways to leave. Maybe he should even file for divorce and get custody. 

A Sweet Deal

This lady cuts right to the chase–she wants the cash. Some may see her as practical while others might say downright insane. She’s really quick to play “Let’s Make a Deal.” Her relationship doesn’t sound very stable. It’s clear she has materialistic expectations and values when it comes to her partner. 

reddit by u/ball_of_emotions

No person in a relationship would put up with this, even in good fun. She might think she’s playing it cool but it kind of comes off as pathetic. We aren’t sure if she’s worth all the drama. Maybe her guy should ditch her and keep his money. Also, why did she censor the word husband? Does she consider it an offensive word??

Beauty Sleep

Few of us like pictures of ourselves. Selfies almost don’t count because we’re able to pose for them and snap pictures only when we want to. This guy seems to go beyond the limit. Not only did he post a candid photo of his wife, but it’s a super unflattering image. On top of that, he turned the picture into a tattoo!

reddit by u/Bagimations

We’re trying to figure out why on Earth this guy did this. Is he divorcing his wife? Does he want to humiliate her? If that’s the case, it’s pretty ruthless. Does he think he’s funny? We doubt she married him for his sense of humor. What an extreme length to go to for a practical joke.

Young at Heart

This woman’s post will definitely disappoint her family. On one hand, it’s clear she thinks her husband is immature. On the other hand, he’s rated as number one in her ranking of favorite children. We don’t think her kids would be very pleased about this. Now that we think about it, neither will her husband. 

reddit by u/aprilfresh

It’s one thing to say your spouse is childish, but putting them on the same level as your actual children? That’s not very smart. She’s noting how he’s learning to be independent. Here’s an idea, don’t marry people who you consider to have the mental maturity of a kid. That’s just plain weird.

Looking Deep Inside

This is really crazy. We had to read it twice to comprehend how a person could be so insecure and jealous. This guy’s mentality takes us back into the Dark Ages. if he can’t handle an OB/GYN doing an internal exam on his pregnant wife, how is going to handle being a father? 

reddit by u/okdokke

This guy can’t tell the difference between being intimate with his wife and a doctor doing an exam. What’s sad is the woman’s intention for doing the exam was to see if she was pregnant with twins. Then he unjustifiably assumed she was interested in the doctor! We hope their kids will turn out okay with a father like this. 

Pet Names

Who isn’t curious about what friends and family have named us in their contact list? Plenty of us probably have nicknames we know nothing about. This woman’s curiosity got the better of her and she finally asked her husband the ultimate question. She doesn’t seem to be disappointed…only because she doesn’t know any better. 

reddit by u/El-Waffle

“Wifey” is a bit unoriginal, but it isn’t the worst nickname he could have given her. However, the eye roll emoji should cause some skepticism. The wife seems to miss the sarcasm entirely. It’s kind of sad because if he’s harboring negative feelings she doesn’t seem to be aware of. We hope she finds out one day. 

Wife Resume

This person is very sure of their beliefs. They’re certain of what a husband, wife, and a marriage are supposed to look like. Clearly, their priorities seem all out of whack. We aren’t sure if this person thinks wives are humans. Instead, he describes her as a maid and a slew of other dehumanizing things. 

reddit by u/xxxSexMan69xxx

We wouldn’t be surprised if this person is single. They’re either expecting this out of a marriage or they are divorced and want this the second time around. In the 21st century, people believe marriage is between two equal beings. Sounds like this poster would be better suited for the Stone Age. 

The Silent Treatment

This man knows how to hold a grudge, though it’s sad he’s been giving his wife the silent treatment for 20 years. We wonder what she did to make him so mad. One thing is for sure–he certainly made his point. We’re curious if her punishment will ever come to an end. 

reddit by u/ThrowawayDaydream101

Perhaps this silent treatment isn’t just his form of retaliation, maybe it’s the secret to their long marriage. They literally can’t get into any arguments! There may be many misunderstandings, but it’s only because of the obvious challenge to communicate. Maybe he’ll stay silent for good even after his anger has melted away.

The Devil Is in the Details

When people complain about spouses, they tend to be vague. They often say things like, “you spring things on me all the time,” without giving specific examples. This guy isn’t going to make that mistake. We’re going to hear about every single detail of his problems when it comes to Christmas tree shopping. Needless to say, he’s blowing the situation out of proportion.

reddit by u/RackhamJack

This guy is suggesting marriage counseling, though we doubt it’d be productive because he’d probably talk the whole time without letting her get a word in. Next time she should write out specific instructions so there’s no room for confusion. 

In-Laws or Outlaws?

Parenthood isn’t easy and neither is marriage. Even parents who love all of their children equally may have one who causes more trouble. This woman has a creative answer to the age-old question of which kid is the hardest to deal with. Her husband might be young at heart, but one thing’s for sure – this woman feels more like a mom than a wife. 

reddit by u/sakuratee

Is there some implied blame of the mother-in-law for the husband’s immaturity? We bet the husband doesn’t appreciate being compared to a difficult kid. Then again, if he’s acting like a kid rather than a husband and father, this comment might be warranted. Who do you think is in the wrong here?

That’s Got To Be Rough

Being in the same room as your partner when they give birth can be a life-changing experience. Not only is a new life entering the world, but your bond with that life is being set right from the get-go! There’s no downside to something like this. Well, aside from the big one that’s on full display here. Discovering the kid you thought was yours isn’t can be devastating.

reddit by u/beaverkc

It can also play with your sense of reasoning and understanding. Maybe that’s why this guy seems both extremely happy as well as very upset at the same time. There are a lot of emotions he’s taking us through. While he seems okay in the end, this doesn’t seem like the type of thing you’d want to share online.

She Sounds Delightful

Once you’ve been married for however long, joking about the end becomes common. It even begins to seep into your arguments. After that, signs and red flags are flying everywhere that your spouse means whatever it is they said. This guy got married to someone who truly believes in “til death does us part”. 

reddit by u/epicarcanoloth

His wife’s definition of the part just differs a bit from the rest of us. Could you even imagine if anyone takes something like this as fact? How petty would you have to be to apply for the permits to bury someone in a landfill? That’s a level of dedication and absurdity that only builds with time. 

Maybe “Escape” Is The Wrong Word

This one is kind of sad. Just because you’re a teacher and a family man doesn’t mean you want to be social all the time. With how underpaid and underappreciated teachers are, we’re surprised more of them don’t do this. After spending a day trying to talk to hundreds of people, it’s understandable that you’d want some quiet time to yourself. 

reddit by u/Foxens

If you already have a family waiting for you, what do you do? If you’re Mr. D you just go back to the office. While it’s not the best use of school property, it totally gets a pass. The only thing we’re confused about is why can’t he chill at home. Does he teach classes there too or does he really dislike his family? 

Maybe A Little TOO Petty

After a few decades with someone, you learn what makes them tick. You also figure out just what buttons to press to get your way. It may sound juvenile and childish, but sometimes the best petty arguers happen to be our parents. Watching the way an older married couple argues is odd and endearing at the same time.

reddit

If a younger couple had a fight like this it would have ended extremely quickly. Someone would have just called a ride over to get out of the situation. Instead, these two (who’ve probably been together forever) duked it out old-school. Since Dad has nowhere else to go, Mom knows she’s winning this one. 

Sounds Like A Respectful Man

Party planning, especially on a budget, isn’t easy. You don’t want any money to go to frivolous stuff. At the same time, you want people to have a good time. There’s just so much to do that you can’t deal with it all on your own. Thankfully, that’s where spouses come in! Send one of them to do the shopping so you can focus on the other stuff. 

reddit by u/OmniShoutmon

The problem with sending a spouse is that you can’t be sure that you’re on the same page of what’s ‘necessary’. We’d be pretty upset if our husband walked in with something like this, too. However, if we got the first ride on it we’d probably forgive him pretty quickly. 

We’d Rather Be Boring 

Yes, relationships can be exciting. They usually are at first. Eventually, a goal for most relationships is to settle into a predictable and somewhat boring rhythm of love, trust, and communication. If those aren’t enough for you then maybe you’re the person looking to start some drama. What war is this wannabe drama starter aiming to kick off? Who benefits from creating this much stress?

reddit by u/NekomiSon

If you’re this bored with your relationship, maybe it’s time to look for a new one. Some time alone may also be a good idea. It could be good to sort things out, clear your head, and ask yourself why you’d ever do something like this. Besides, none of us have any of those numbers memorized!

Imagine Finding This Profile

For the most part, this is a pretty fitting punishment. If you caught your husband or wife with a dating profile wouldn’t you think about doing this? If y’all are supposed to be monogamous, and you aren’t…it almost fits the crime. Things go way over the line when the profile starts to talk about wanting to be assaulted. 

reddit by u/Jplfernandes

No matter how devastating the discovery of their cheating is, that’s never okay. Just get the divorce, take half of everything, and move on. The only way this would get worse is if the husband actually made the profile. We doubt it since “liar” isn’t a job. But, you never know these days! 

Please Don’t Lie About These Things

Mom groups are a great place to get a second (or twentieth) opinion. Unfortunately, they’re also the breeding grounds for toxic moms to get validation for their insane behavior. It’s a lot easier to justify being anti-vax when you have a dozen Karens backing you up. This toxic mom is planning on using her free birth group as the perfect excuse to straight-up lie to her husband. 

Reddit by u/sandwichpepe

Her “brilliant idea” involves beginning labor at home and promising to tell her husband when she’s ready to go to the hospital, only to never actually go. And those little laughing emojis are a telltale sign that she’s trying to downplay her manipulative plan into an innocent joke, all in the hopes of getting support from fellow Facebook moms.

A Wife Or A Hostage? 

Just to start: the whole “women are impulsive and men aren’t” argument is dumb. In reality, a lot of men are highly impulsive. Second, your wife isn’t ALLOWED to have a bank account or credit card? She’s also not allowed to use yours to buy food and holiday presents for the family? Okay, the red flags are out in full swing.

Reddit by u/HappyChefChristoph

If you’re so responsible and can handle everything, then go do it big man. However, not allowing another adult to manage their own finances is not at all okay. This is some #FreeBritney level of ridiculousness that needs to be stopped. Someone go check on his wife (and set her free) please.

How Romantic…

We’re sure everyone knows the saying “Saturdays are for the Boys,” but who knew it also applied to weddings, too. This moment is supposed to be shared with the groom and his wife-to-be, if he made it this far the answer should be an easy yes. The bride wants you holding her hands at the altar, not consulting with the boys.

Reddit by u/grygrl

This makes a special moment a little awkward. There’s no love in asking the boys as if you need their permission. Since when has a wedding been up to the judgment of the groom’s friends? Maybe the bride should grab her girls and start her own little huddle when it’s her turn.

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