Unhinged Notes From Toxic Bosses

New Office Rule: Every Minute Counts

If you’re not familiar with the 80-20 rule, it says that you get most of your work done in only about 20% of the time you’re working. We’d say that’s pretty accurate. No one can work every single minute of the workday. What’s being a few minutes late really going to do in the long run? 

According to this boss’s note, any minute that you’re not in the office when you’re scheduled to work is going to cause some serious damage. The only way to keep everything under control is to ensure that employees make up any time they miss and then some. 1 minute late? Try 10 minutes of unpaid overtime.

Want Not and Waste Plenty

Ever heard the phrase waste not, want not? This old saying means that you will always have enough if you don’t waste what you have. It’s especially helpful in the kitchen when there’s extra food from orders that never got picked up or mistakes in preparing the food. Employees will eat everything that would otherwise go into the garbage can.

It’s a pretty bad excuse to cite “rising food costs” as the reason why workers can’t enjoy leftovers that the company would be throwing out anyway. They have to pay for the food regardless of where it ends up, and it’s less work and money for them to dispose of less food. There’s not much logic here.

Thanks for the Punch in the Gut

Anyone who has a dog knows how difficult it is to spend most of your day working at a cubicle while your little pup is at home all by himself. Since most work environments aren’t dog-friendly, there’s nothing you can do but count down the hours until you can see your furry friend at the end of the day.

This workspace is more than just unfriendly to dog owners, it’s downright toxic. It’s hard enough to come back after time away in the office and accept that you won’t get to see your loving pet’s face while you’re busy crunching numbers. You don’t need to see a sign (bought with office funds that literally could have been used for anything else) reminding you of how much you don’t want to be there.

Legal Threats and Lazy Workers

This sign has something for everyone who’s looking to add a little frustration to their day. It starts with a political complaint about the president that’s sure to rile people up. Then it tells valued customers that they’re going to pay 1.5x the usual price for products. It’s up to the community to fill the workplace and help them lower prices again!

With a starting pay at $16 an hour, you’ll get a pay increase of 3% or less a year, which isn’t even enough to cover inflation. Bonus: You’ll also get a boss that has the nerve to threaten legal charges on a sign that’s begging people to work there.

The World Is Not Fair, and Neither Is This

I understand that the world is not fair. I do not follow my passion. If I am unhappy at work, I will either find a new job, or find a way to be happy. Pretty brutal, right? It’s the S.W.E.A.T. Pledge’s words, not ours. This boss clearly had a problem with employee morale and turnover, and promptly did the one thing that would make the situation worse…

They created a pledge that makes it clear that workers won’t have any support. This pledge implies that safety is not the responsibility of the company, instead it falls on the workers. Why even include the words “safety compliance” if they mean nothing to you? Employees must also promise to never whine and complain. Ever.

We Are a Million Dollar Company

Entitlement complexes don’t just exist among your mother-in-law and toxic ex. They’re also prevalent within million-dollar companies with enough resources to hire a manager who knows the difference between your and you’re. But here we are with Jenny, the boss who would rather have you leave your sick child at home alone than miss working on Christmas Eve.

The really nasty part is that she’s ordering you to come to work when you’re sick, which will cause you to infect everyone else right in time for the holidays. Car stuck on the side of the road? Leave it there and call an Uber. You work for a million-dollar company, after all.

Calm Down With the Minion Meme

This sign is aggressive to the next level. It starts off with all-capital letters in bright red, underlined text announcing that under no circumstances is work meant to be fun. You can’t spend a moment of your time talking to your coworkers about something that isn’t related to work. Making friends with your coworkers during work hours? Not allowed.

Sounds like a company culture we should be jealous of. The worst part is the minion meme at the bottom with the text “Work is not your daycare.” Clearly, this guy does not know the difference between daycare and work. We’re not surprised considering that whoever wrote this sign is probably lonely and bitter.

So Much for Accidents Happen

When you work in a fast-paced environment with lots of people, accidents are bound to happen. Add in hot food, fragile plates, and a serious time crunch, and it’s impossible to go a day without some sort of mishap. Everyone who’s worked in the restaurant industry knows that a broken drinking glass or dropped meal isn’t the end of the world.

But everyone who’s worked in the restaurant industry has also worked with a boss who treats a small mistake like Armageddon. Think twice before you try to multitask so you can do the best job possible – it’s coming out of your paycheck. We’re pretty sure that’s illegal, by the way…

Nothing in Life Is Free

If you don’t want to be disappointed in your workplace, you’re best off setting your expectations low. Like, really low. As in, you’re not even entitled to enjoy a glass of refreshing water. All of those trips to the water cooler to stare at your work crush are about to come at a price, because nothing in life is free.

This boss is setting the standard for the worst workplace of all time with a sign that sets up a water subscription service. Courtesy of the very cool Water Club, you can spend $5 a month to drink something that people in any other workplace get for free. Talk to Sandra or Michelle for details. 

A Servant for Burger King

It’s one thing to look for workers by advertising with phrases such as “Looking for a team player” or “Must have 3+ years experience.” Every company wants to find the best people for their workforce. It’s another thing to make a public request for workers who have a servant’s heart, as this Burger King sign does.

It’s no wonder this was up for months. We’re guessing that this hiring gesture didn’t bring in the best candidates. No self-respecting person would apply for a job when they’re been warned ahead of time that they’re going to be treated like a servant. Maybe “Do you need a job? Apply inside” would’ve been the better option.

Don’t Let Them Get Away With It

Here’s a not-so-little-known secret from anyone who’s worked in customer service before: Staffing issues have much more to do with the management than with the staff. No one wants to work for a manager who does a poor job. Naturally, they’ll call out more often and won’t be as willing to cover shifts. Many managers are unwilling to see this and blame the staff when problems arise, like this manager did.

But the staff wasn’t going to let management get away with it. There was more going on than meets the eye, and the public wasn’t going to be left with the impression that lazy workers were the reason for the store closure.

No Heat Until Freezing Temperatures

When times are tough, businesses have to look for ways to stay afloat. There are a number of ways to go about this: raise prices, cut costs, or take basic necessities away from your employees. Guess which one this boss went with? To save money on heat, he put up a sign to remind employees that they shouldn’t use it unless absolutely necessary.

Necessary in this case means that temperatures dropped low enough that you can see your own breath. Forget wearing socks, long sleeves, and a jacket – you would need to be pretty tough to work all day without any heat in temperatures that were sub-45 degrees Fahrenheit.

Let’s Put Our Big Boy and Girl Underwear On

It’s time to put on our big boy pants and get a job. Seriously, no one in your generation likes to work. It’s not fair to your parents who signed up for 18 years of taking care of you in a world that you didn’t ask to be born into. Now that you’re 33 and sitting in their basement playing video games, you should ask yourself why you’re content being on your butt all day.

Here are Picked Dick’s Deli and Catering Co., we have an amazing work culture. Just take a look at our sign. We know everyone would love to work here if they’d just give it a shot, those good-for-nothing bums. The problem is that no one wants a job. Make sure to apply and bring your friends.

Sued… for Using Your Cell Phone

The next time you go into your local Tim Horton’s you may be greeted with a sign like this one. In case you’re having trouble reading the fine print, we’ll spell it out for you: Not only can employees not use their phones at all during work, but they can’t even have them on their person. 

What would happen if you didn’t follow this rule? Proceed to the next section, which reminds us of when the principal would threaten to call our parents and put something on our permanent record. The last part is new: Get caught three times, and you might be facing legal action. Oooh, scary. And also not possible, considering there are no grounds for a lawsuit here.

Putting a New Spin on Age Discrimination

What’s the first situation you think of when you hear “age discrimination”? An employee who’s spent 15 years at a company being replaced by someone who’s younger? Us, too. Maybe it’s because we just watched the episode of The Office where Ryan introduced Dunder Mifflinfinity. This boss put a special twist on age discrimination with a sign that called for Baby Boomers only.

After a bad experience with two young employees whose boyfriends hung around too much, this manager decided to generalize the behavior of these two people to an entire generation. Apparently, no one born after 1997 knows what work actually means. Joke’s on you, because guess who’s writing this article?

Making a Buck in Any Way Possible

It’s pretty disgusting how some businesses try to make a buck off their employees any way they can. This boss is evidently so strapped for cash that he’s selling individual cans of soda for $2.50 when you can get an entire case at your local Costco for about the same price. He had enough resources to laminate the sign, though.

It gets worse when you hear about the chips. According to the worker who documented this ridiculous sign on Reddit, the chips come to the office in a box of 20 marked with a $5 price tag and a label “Not for resale.” No one wants those crusty potato chips, anyway.

Sexist, Insensitive, Terrible Boss Report

Not every workplace is lucky enough to have a great HR rep. Just be grateful that you don’t have to deal with this company’s policies. Imagine being in a situation where a coworker said something genuinely offensive or sexist. Your boss would  clearly sweep the entire incident under the rug based on this sign.

If you have any feelings at all, you’re automatically just a woman experiencing hormones, a crybaby, or a wuss. You’re definitely not a reasonable person. The only reasonable person in this situation is the real man who called you out in the first place. Make sure to use your girliest signature.

The New Business Strategy: Now Firing

We know what you’re thinking. Maybe this sign is just a play on the words now hiring? Nope, it’s not. It goes on to say that the restaurant is looking to update its workforce and wants new people to apply. Seems like a pretty poor way to run a business, but hear us out with this new business strategy.

When you post signs like that and do nothing to boost morale, you’ll have constant employee turnover. That means you’ll never have to worry about giving anyone a raise, ever! Keep on paying those new workers minimum wage until they burn out and quit. 

You Can Take Exactly N0 Days Off

This sign is scary in more ways than one. The first thing that catches our eye is the clock. That clock has the crazy eyes that follow you anywhere you are in the room, like the Mona Lisa. The second thing that jumps out at as is the use of the word excepting instead of accepting. Minor offense, but still one we’re going to point out.

And the most egregious sin here is that the boss isn’t allowing anyone to request any more days off from December 12 to January 8. That’s essentially an entire month, and all the holidays at that. That’s not something that people will be willing to work with.

You Have to Be Here PERIOD

Signs like these are just embarrassing. They give a bad name to bosses everywhere. The handwriting looks like a scrawl from a high schooler cheating off of someone else’s homework. The missing punctuation and random capitalization takes us all the way back to middle school. And the tone of “If I have to do it, you have to, too!” reminds us of a belligerent 8-year-old.

We also think the boss meant to write “termination” not “termation”. Is the punishment that scary if you can’t even spell it right? This boss seems like the type of person you could trick into letting you take the day off… Just an idea.

You’ll Get Paid Minimum Wage and You’ll Smile

This isn’t the worst sign in the world. It’s just the context that makes it bad. Think about how much minimum workers get paid. Don’t worry, we checked for you. The answer is not a lot. You also have to deal with cleaning up after people and getting treated like you’re not a human being by people craving their burgers in the drive through.

Now hiring smiling faces? It’s hard to make it through an entire day in a low-paying customer service job with a smile on your face. We think the criteria should be that you have thick skin, you can stand on your feet all day, and you work well in a team. But that’s harder to fit on a sign.

Provide Proof of Your Funeral

We understand why employers want proof if someone takes a paid day off. Without some sort of way to check, employees would be taking “sick days” left and right. That being said, there are some situations where it’s appropriate to just take what employees say at face value and not ask questions.

So when your employee’s grandfather passes away and they ask for a day off to grieve, do not under any circumstance ask for a “funeral note.” You’re making their day more difficult on purpose. What do you want, a note from the dead grandfather or confirmation from a funeral director who won’t be able to believe your lack of compassion? 

Never Put Criticism in Public

There’s an important lesson you should know if you want to succeed in the workplace: Never criticize a worker in public and especially not in writing. When it comes to praise, everyone appreciates it differently. Some employees like a thoughtful thank-you note or private moment, while others appreciate public accolades.

But almost no one wants to be called out in front of their coworkers on a wall where everyone’s reminded of their failures 24/7. Every time they read the comments or even just walk by the wall they’re going to get angrier and angrier. And who wouldn’t? No one needs a wall of shame with that many exclamation points.

You’re Not Allowed to Eat at Work Now

Wouldn’t it be nice if our workday was only a few hours in the afternoon? We could have our mornings and evenings to ourselves. The harsh reality is that many of us work 8 or 9 hours a day. We have to get up early and pack plenty of food to keep us going throughout our shifts. It’s pretty insane to think of going an entire day without being able to enjoy a meal.

So we guess this boss is just insane. They seriously put up a note saying that workers couldn’t bring their own food to eat at work without a doctor’s note. They are expected to be fully focused without proper sustenance, all because management needs to re-evaluate work ethic. 

Forced Labor on Independence Day

The Fourth of July is one of the greatest American holidays. We celebrate all the freedoms we’re lucky enough to enjoy every day. Plus, who doesn’t love eating hot dogs, seeing the fireworks, and spending time with our family? It’s pretty ironic this company chose a day celebrating independence to force employees to work as scheduled.

This sign was posted shortly after the company was bought out and subsequently fired 18 out of the 31 full-time employees. The remaining 11 have a duty to honor the ones who didn’t make it: In honor of America’s origins, create a revolution of their own. History is bound to repeat itself…

Pay Up or Accept Your Suffering

We all know there’s a cost to breaking the company dress code. You can get sent home and may miss your entire shift. But did you know that there’s also a cost for following the company dress code? Thanks to this boss, you have to pay up even if you’re wearing clothes that are approved. 

This boss posted a sign requiring employees to pay $2 every time they want to wear shorts to work. Would it make you feel better if you knew it was for charity? Yeah, we didn’t think so. There are so many other ways to encourage your staff to support a good cause. Going this route was probably the worst option out there.

The Accountability Partner You Didn’t Ask For

When you’re trying to make positive and productive changes in your life, it can be helpful to have an accountability partner. Always seem to find an excuse to skip the gym? It’s time for a gym buddy who will text you every day and ask you about your workout. Falling behind on your finances? It may be a good idea to find a digital tool that’ll keep you on track.

But there are accountability tools that make your life worse, not better. No one wants to come into work and have their every move documented when they pass by a certain door. Employees want to be more productive. They don’t want paid work time deducted for using the bathroom.

Oh No, I Left My Cellphone at Home Today

That’s so strange. It looks like I left my cellphone at home today. Will I still be able to get a walkie-talkie? No, I promise that I didn’t leave it at home on purpose in order to avoid this totally insane policy that requires me, a grown adult, to turn in my cell phone like a young child handing over his electronics.

Just a suggestion, but if you want workers to return their walkie-talkies at the end of the day, there are other systems to make that work. You could use a small token or key with their name on it, then give them a call if they forget to return the walkie talkie. No hoarding of cell phones necessary. 

You’re Not Fooling Us With This One

Many people view their salary as a private matter. They won’t discuss it with anyone except their family members and close friends. But it’s important to talk about salary openly with your coworkers to ensure that people are getting paid fairly. You actually have legal protection for the right to discuss your salary.

So, if you see a sign telling you that it’s unacceptable to discuss salary with other workers, don’t let it fool you. Once a manager realizes they won’t get new hires to work on the same low wages they’re currently paying, they’ll have to raise pay and hope that the seasoned workers don’t find out. That’s how signs like these come about.

Guess Who Just Got a Promotion

We want our bosses to be humble and hardworking, but also someone we genuinely like. It’s too bad the people who always seem to get promoted are the ones who aren’t cut out for the job. As soon as they get some sort of power, it immediately goes to their head. Take Lupe. She got promoted to assistant manager at the gas station and wants to make it known that it’s her territory now.

Don’t you dare even think about touching her sweater. Just to be clear: DO NOT TOUCH. You don’t even want to know what the consequences are. It’s probably something like giving her back her sweater.

How Expensive Is That Electricity?

It goes without saying that stealing from your workplace shouldn’t be tolerated, but this is taking it too far. This user says that his boss is usually unreasonable, but we think he might be beyond that. Is leaving a passive aggressive note with threats like this even allowed? We feel like it shouldn’t be. It definitely dampens the workplace environment. 

In the 21st century, electronic devices have become a necessity. Unless the company is providing its workers with phones to use throughout the day, this is a real jerk move. Somebody should tell this boss that nobody is entitled to expect their workers not to charge their stuff. Will they start charging for drinking water next?

We’ll Sign The Resignation

What is it with bosses and leaving snotty notes? In this one, we have a boss threatening to fire an employee if they don’t order more of her favorite pens. While their boss is probably bluffing over the last part, the fact that they are as arrogant and entitled to actually say that to their employees is a massive red flag. 

This note and its threatening tone just give us bad vibes. We can only hope that the employee took her literally and ordered a ****ton more, but like an actual ton- as in 907.185 kilograms to be exact. We mean, theoretically, she did ask for it… She’ll have plenty of her favorite pens until she’s well into retirement!

A Doctor’s Note For Water

Humans can’t live without water. In fact, doctors recommend drinking at least eight glasses a day. Now imagine you’re a cashier, working long hours ringing up countless purchases, sounds tiring right? Now imagine reaching for a cool bottle of water but… wait… it’s not there. That’s what this manager is doing to her employees. 

Look, Sara, we get that cashiers are unrecognized superhumans but even superhumans need to hydrate! Come on. Why would you need a doctor’s note for water? How can you get such a doctor’s note? What would the doctor even write for that? “Give my patient water because they need it to live like every other person, you imbecile.”? We have so many questions. 

Do They Provide Tissues?

Having a good cry once in a while is healthy, even at work. Sometimes we are just overwhelmed, overloaded, and need to let it all out. However, crying often isn’t always healthy. Crying regularly at work is definitely a red flag. Seeing this sign in a workplace definitely rings some alarm bells.

Obviously no one wants to be served by a crying person; it’d ruin the whole atmosphere. But the existence of this sign means that employees crying is a regular occurrence, and the only possible reason is the workplace environment. Potential employees and customers, wipe your tears and run! This place is not conducive to a good mood. 

This Might Actually Be Illegal

There are a few things people find socially unacceptable to discuss at work. Religion, politics, and money are generally no-gos when it comes to workplace conversation. However, this isn’t a hard and fast rule, anyone who wishes to bring up these topics is free to do so. That is unless you work at this McDonald’s, apparently they’re trying to regulate what their workers talk about.

Obviously they don’t want anyone getting the idea that they’re being underpaid. That’s definitely a bad sign. Also, why did they put “pay” in quotation marks? Are they being sarcastic? Seems like they’re aware they’re ripping off their workers and want to keep them from making demands.

Starving Their Employees

Most workplaces will give you an hour off for lunch. Other offices are stocked with coffee, snacks, and pantry staples for workers to eat. This one is on a totally different level. Maybe they haven’t figured out that people need food to live? More likely than not they’re just sadistic. What on Earth could justify this? Seriously, we need an explanation for this madness.

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It’s bad enough that they forbid their employees from eating but they took it a step further by rewarding tattle-tales. Imagine trying to get your workers to turn against each other for monetary rewards. This sounds like a truly toxic workplace in every possible way. 

Now Hiring A Smell-Checker

Let’s face it, we’ve all spent a little extra time in the bathroom when we didn’t need to. No one goes in and out as if the building’s on fire. On that same note, people usually spend a few minutes before finishing their business. But this boss isn’t taking any chances. They can’t even trust their workers’ bathroom breaks! 

We don’t know how this smell check is going to be conducted and we don’t envy the person who’ll be doing it. Can you imagine one of your duties being smell checking the bathrooms? We think we’d quit on the spot, along with all the other employees who will inevitably leave this place. 

Talk About Micro Managing

What’s the deal with managers’ obsession with their employees’ bathroom breaks? As if micromanaging in the office wasn’t enough, they want to control what you’re doing in the toilet, too! What’s more is that there’s no way to enforce this rule. Putting up cameras would definitely be illegal, they’re going to have to rely on the honor system.

If that’s the case then male employees will be able to use the bathroom however they like, they’ll just have to not leave any evidence behind. We can imagine a sign like this going up in someone’s house as a joke but in a workplace? That’s next-level crazy. Here’s a tip; don’t work for anyone who tells you how to pee! 

Lack Of Good Management

There’s nothing more annoying than a boss who doesn’t value his workers and sees them as nothing more than a workforce to manage and maintain. When they screw up like this, it’s up to the employees themselves to figure things out. Workers simply shouldn’t be subjected to this kind of environment.

Forcing employees to work seven days a week for 10 – 12 hours is awful. Especially when you realize some of these people have families they probably don’t get to see very often. If you make a mistake that puts your workers in this situation, you should also be the one to fix it.

Absolutely No Days Off

Have you ever woken up with a fever or a bad cold? Needed a day or two to recover before going back to work? We know we sure have, but apparently this business has not. And don’t think a doctor’s note is going to cut it. According to this management, you can’t be sick and go to the doctor at the same time. 

Want time off for your birthday, Thanksgiving, or Hanukkah? Looks like you’re out of luck! This business only gives you five vacation days throughout the year. Better use that time to look for a better place to work at. Any company that makes a sign like this doesn’t deserve employees!