People Just Want to Eat Off Plates
When it comes to owning and operating a restaurant, you’re always looking to stay on top of the latest trends and present customers with a fresh and exciting experience. Recently, there has been a shift towards presenting dishes in the most unique manner, and unfortunately for the diners that means more form and less function. It may sound fun to visit the hip new eatery in the city, but when your dessert is served on the back of your hand, you might start second-guessing your decision.
From weird alternatives to plates, to items that have no business in a restaurant, we’ve put together a list of the strangest ways that food and drink have been offered to diners. Be warned, there are some upsetting photos in this list, including one establishment that found a way to disgrace pizza. What follows is not for the faint of heart.
Does it Count as a Plate if There’s One on the Screen?
In the ultimate meta take on providing patrons with a food experience that doesn’t include plates, this one restaurant thought that an image of one would provide the perfect homage. Who really needs a plate when you can have the illusion of one? I’d really like to know who approved this idea and how many iPads they go through every month. All of that metal cutlery can’t be good for the screen.
I’m not sure what’s worse: that this apple dessert was served hot on top of a relatively expensive piece of technological hardware, or that the image of the plate doesn’t fit perfectly on the screen. Is that bothering anyone else? In any event, this “plate” option is sure to upset someone and seems like an idea that should be revisited in the future.
Yes, I’d Like My Bread Served in Roadkill Please
Okay, maybe this “serving plate” wasn’t picked up off the side of the highway, but I have a pretty simple rule when it comes to serving dishes: no fur, please. It’s just so unsettling to have something that may or may not have once been alive be the holder of the table’s bread. You know, bread that we’re expected to eat.
Maybe this is the theme of the restaurant: it’s rustic, woodsy, and involves an overall hunter theme. Okay, that’s cool, but why put the bread inside the fur? Imagine you’re the owner of this restaurant and you visit the local taxidermy shop looking for animal hides. Yes, please hollow them out so I can use them as bread baskets? Even someone who stuffs dead animals for a living would look at you funny.
How to Use Umbrellas When It’s Not Rainy Season
Listen, I think we can all agree that umbrellas suck. They get blown around by the wind too easily, they snap or flip inside out. They’re way more annoying than helpful. So, maybe this restaurant is backed by “big umbrellas” to provide a legitimate receptacle for a shareable cocktail. Or, more likely, this is a ridiculous way to serve a beverage.
Does the waiter have to stand there the entire time while each diner fills up their cup? That seems shortsighted. Nothing makes sense about this umbrella bowl (cup?). The table is tiny in relation to it. It’s too tall for everyone to partake at the same time. It’s unstable. And it’s an umbrella! Just no.
One Dessert With a Side of Nostalgia, Please
Thankfully this is an actually flat surface that is small and not too unwieldy. However, that VHS box is nasty looking. And why wouldn’t it be? It’s older than most millennials. Look at how gross that box is. VHS boxes are meant to house a video cassette. They are not meant to come into contact with food on an ongoing basis and then cleaned for further use.
What otherwise looks like a yummy dessert has been turned into a game of “guess what has seeped into this 30-year-old cardboard!” Nobody owns VHS tapes anymore even to use for their intended purpose. Why would a restaurant use them as serving dishes? Hard pass.
Fries Are Served in Baskets, Surely Cocktails Can Be As Well!
Sigh… The purpose of this basket is to allow liquid to escape. Who thought that putting a drink inside one would be a good idea? Yes, the drink is in a bag, but that bag is only being held shut by the tiniest of clothespins. Also, fun fact about liquid: it doesn’t just stay in one place. It moves and shifts and will try to escape the bag once opened and moved around.
What’s so wrong about glasses or jars anyway? And to make matters worse, the restaurant has to harm the environment by providing a plastic straw and bag in order to make this drink presentation functional. That’s a complete fail across the board.
The Result of Foraging for Serving Dishes
Here’s the thing about rocks: they’re not manufactured. They’re natural and come from the ground. This means that employees at this restaurant went outside and picked up some rocks to use instead of plates. Were they properly cleaned? Where did the rocks come from? Were they selected purely for how well they would hold a glob of butter?
As a restaurant owner would you really want someone to scrape their knife along a rock when they’re trying to butter their toast? That sounds unpleasant. Also, if this really is butter on top of that rock, wouldn’t you want something flat for your butter? It makes it so much easier to get on the knife. Total miss on this one.
I’ll Order the Lady Gaga Outfit Platter Please
Usually, when you order a dish at a restaurant, you don’t expect it to come back looking creepy. Or in close proximity to doll hair. I don’t think anyone in the history of dining has actually wanted their food served on a doll. I applaud the presentation of providing two different styles of meat dresses, but maybe it’s time to rethink this.
Also, while we’re here: what is that bowl of “salad” in the background? Is that a DIY salad? And why does only one meat doll dish have sauce on it? That seems like an oversight. It seems like all the work went into making these dolls look their best, without thinking too much about the consumer.
When One Door Closes, Another Opens… And is Covered in Donuts!
Donuts are amazing. Everyone loves donuts. But it’s hard to maintain that love for donuts when they’re being presented on an old door outside in the elements. Placing donuts on pegs like this is also forcing people to touch multiple donuts when choosing which one they want. That seems even more unsanitary than the door itself. Let’s also not forget that gravity exists. Seems like some of these poor donuts have lost their icing for the sake of a unique presentation.
Also, what’s with those flowers at the top? This image likely comes from a wedding or some other similar event, but those flowers are guaranteeing that no one is going to choose the donuts they’re touching. That’s just bad planning.
Bringing New Meaning to Shoveling Down a Meal
Looking at this image, I can’t help but imagine that there’s an enormous vat of rice in the kitchen and the chef actually shovels out a huge portion, adds an egg, some sauce, and passed it along to a waiter. There just can’t be any other explanation. Why a shovel? Why is it SO MUCH rice? Who can eat all that?
Yet another item on our list that loses points for presentation. What is that swimming pool of sauce on the side? This shovel is enormous – you couldn’t manage a drizzle or some sort of elegant design with the sauce? The egg is beautifully round and after placing it in the middle the chef took the ladle of sauce and basically just said YOLO and poured. Madness.
Cones Should Only Ever be Served With Ice Cream
Ah yes, another ridiculous way to serve pasta. What do people have against spaghetti? Are the restaurants trying to dissuade people from ordering it? This is such a wild way to present someone with their pasta dish. It’s flimsy, messy, and not functional. Where do you even start? Do you leave it in the holder or pick it up and hope for the best? Is the paper structurally sound? There are just so many issues here.
How does a restaurant have these cone holders in their inventory but not normal bowls or plates for when someone orders spaghetti? That seems like a very conscious decision that absolutely no one thought twice about. Restaurant owners really need to have someone act as devil’s advocate when they come up with ideas like this.
Meringues Served on a Magnetically Floating Pillow. Welcome to the Future
We have officially reached the pinnacle of ridiculous serving dish alternatives. A magnetically floating pillow being used as a dish. How is this even possible? Who devoted a significant portion of their life to invent it? Why did they do that? How did this restaurant acquire this alien technology? Is this a picture from the future? Are we all going to be eating like this in a thousand years? We need answers!
This is pretty similar to the issue with the napkin plate since it’s placing a dessert that you want to scoop up on a fabric that is not optimal for scooping. The food looks delicious and yet is going to be difficult to eat thanks to the pillow being used as a plate. That just seems cruel.
Why Use a Plate When You Can Use a Shelf?
The first thought that comes to mind when seeing this image is just how precariously placed everything is. Why are the sandwiches placed vertically? Why are the coffee mug and glass jar so close to the edge of the table? Why is this shelf so large that if it’s knocked over it would destroy everything on the table? It’s making me nervous just to look at it.
Not only is it absurd to serve brunch on a bookshelf, but to not provide plates in addition to the shelf is just too much to handle. There are 4 different types of beverages on the table and not a single piece of cutlery or a plate as far as the eye can see. And can we go back to the fact that the sandwiches were placed vertically?? What kind of monster does that?
Hey Bartender, Got Any Pasta Back There?
What’s worse? Being served saucy spaghetti in a beer mug or the restaurant leaning into the beer theme by adding fake foam on top? The image shows a woman eating the spaghetti with chopsticks as well. There are just so many different food cultures and ideas being mashed into one here that the result is a complete mess.
And let’s not ignore the biggest issue: there’s still no plate in front of her! The waiter places this giant mug of pasta in front of you and you’re supposed to eat it out of the mug? What about how all the sauce appears to have fallen to the bottom? Has this restaurant heard of gravity? It’s hard to imagine that anyone would enjoy being served this mug pasta as much as the woman in the picture.
Do You Have Any Bandages That Pair With My Appetizer?
This is a lawsuit waiting to happen. Is this salad really worth slicing open your hand? Maybe that’s the angle that this restaurant is taking with this dish. “Our salads are so good that they’re worth bleeding over!” I doubt it.
Let’s not forget about what’s going on behind the scenes here: someone has to actually cut open each soda can when someone orders this dish. Whether it’s the waiter or the chef, someone has to stop in the middle of the craziness of a restaurant kitchen and slice open an aluminum can in a way that will lend itself to properly presenting this salad dish. So now multiple people might get cut by this. And to make matters worse, this was served on top of a normal plate! Just leave it at that…
How to Value Customers 101: Treat Them Like Dogs
Why use a plate when you can use a bowl? Okay, there might be something to that. But why use a regular bowl when you can use a dog bowl? Well, I’m not sure the logic of that one is so sound. Dog bowls are made to allow for depth and to enable our furry friends to lap up whatever is presented to them.
While these may seem like functional solutions for a burger and fries, the whole presentation seems a little degrading. Yes, I know I ordered a greasy meal fit for man’s best friend, but do you have to shove that in my face? Just let me up my cholesterol in peace while eating off a normal plate. Thank you.
An Appetizer in a Lightbulb? What a Bright Idea!
I keep looking at this picture trying to figure out the best way to actually whatever is inside the light bulb. My conclusion: there is no enjoyable way to partake in this dish. Even forgetting about function for a second, the presentation of this “dish” leaves much to be desired. I sure hope this is a palette cleanser because this seems like less than half of a bite of food. This can’t be an actual dish that people order, right?
Is anyone else worried that the light bulb is going to shatter? What about that hay underneath it? Is that supposed to be appetizing? It seems like this is a pretty fancy restaurant, so it’s hard to imagine that this was the best idea they could come up with for presenting this dish.
Make Sure to Leave a Tip… Of Your Finger
In case this wasn’t clear to you, the “plate” in this picture is a mousetrap. Whether it’s been used for anything other than serving cheese is something we’d rather not know… However, regardless of whether actual rodents were caught by this device, it still isn’t the safest choice for casual dining serving pieces. What, you don’t like your cheese being sliced by a lightning-quick trap device?
Not only does this mousetrap look dirty, unsanitary and just straight up ugly, but the presentation of the actual cheese also leaves much to be desired. Is this restaurant just going for a complete shock value, including how the actual food is offered to the consumer? I highly doubt that, but perhaps the owner of this place was a little too inspired by Pixar’s Ratatouille.
When You Need Napkins For Your Napkin, Something’s Wrong
This is the first installment on our list that isn’t a solid surface, but at least a napkin does belong on a dinner table. We’re making progress! Even coming right after the mousetrap, this seems like the worst idea so far. Maybe if there were only cracks or bread being served on the napkin that wouldn’t be so bad, but food that needs to be scooped? That seems so frustrating. Whose idea was this?
Side point: shouldn’t the forks and knives be switched? Okay back to the “napkin plate”. Do they give you additional napkins to be used as they were intended? Are you supposed to clean your hands with a plate? I just have so many questions…
You Don’t Like Your Pizza With a Hole Punched Through It?
It’s safe to assume that pizza is one of the world’s most beloved foods. It’s so tasty, has an endless amount of variations, and being presented with pizza will likely enhance any social gathering. But I believe we have officially ruined pizza with this image. Couldn’t they have used hooks that were a little smaller to not poke a penny-sized hole into each piece?
Also, we’re back to acting like gravity doesn’t exist. There is undoubtedly a pile of toppings / sauce / cheese sitting on the floor under these hooks. And if not, then this is not a piece of pizza that you actually want to eat. This image is bothersome on a personal level. How dare they treat pizza like this?
Giving Credit Where It’s Due: This Establishment Recycles!
Ceviche served on top of (and inside of?) an empty beer can. Just take that concept in for a moment, because it’s ridiculous. Sure, they’re reusing the cans, which is commendable, but at what cost? Was there really no other option for serving this dish? Also, I’d like to know how this beer can was emptied prior to “plating” this dish. Did someone drink it? Did they spill it out in the sink? Either one of those options bothers me.
This is a disaster waiting to happen when it inevitably topples over. It’s already served as a mess and looks like the remains of a wild seafood bachelor party. There is nothing about this dish that is appetizing. I think it’s back to the drawing board for this idea.
We Serve Everything! Including The Kitchen Sink!
When serving dishes that are meant to be shared or cater to several diners at once, it helps to present them inside something that is large enough to handle all that food. I also appreciate the cute novelty of serving a bunch of delicious looking fried food inside a kitchen sink. But did they really have to keep the faucet? You can still make it look like a sink without having the faucet in the way.
Also, what’s a little bothersome about this image is that this is clearly not a normal sink. Based on the side panels holding the sauces, it’s been manufactured for this purpose, which seems to remove some of the novelty. I will give them credit for the fact that stainless steel is very easy to clean and this sink won’t ever look like it was ripped out of the bathroom next door. Also, bonus points for actually providing the customers with plates.
Have Some Pasta, Then Hang Your Clothes to Dry
If you’re finding yourself getting increasingly more incensed as you scroll through this list, you’re not alone. This is a disgrace to ravioli and Italian food everywhere. Look at the second one from the left – it’s been punctured! How could hooks be a legitimate way of serving pasta? It just boggles the mind.
The worst part of this whole contraption is how it’s forcing you to approach it. You have to open the hook and then catch each ravioli piece, and then dip it? The pasta looks to be fried so now you’re getting oil on your hands as you release each one from its hook, and you’re probably going to puncture more of them along the way. Just a total and complete mess.
The Latest Trend: A Hair Salon and Restaurant Mashup!
We’ve already seen a log so far on this list, but now a log that has a comb stuck in it being used as a way of holding chips? This is taking it too far. This restaurant has cloth napkins! How does an establishment that uses cloth napkins allow itself to sink this low and present food on a comb attached to a dirty piece of wood?
At least make the log look presentable, right? Or choose a fancier comb! This presentation looks like something that a child invented as a new funky way of serving food – you know, those things that kids do that are fun to look at but completely impractical in the real world. Time to brainstorm some new ways of presenting these chips.
When You Shop at Antique Stores For Your Serving Dishes
It’s possible that many people reading this won’t actually recognize the item in the photo. No, not the carrot, the rotary telephone underneath. That’s what phones used to look like before they became wireless and were able to fit in your pocket. Now that the history lesson is over, we’re presented with another question: what the hell is going on here?
Why is someone being served a single carrot? Did the restaurant owner bring in this telephone and say that it must be used for a dish and a single carrot was the only viable option? Is this actually an art installation and not a menu item? Are you supposed to lift the phone receiver in order to eat the carrot? This is so confusing.
Let’s Finish This Pizza Then Head to the Slopes
Maybe it’s the grease from the pizza that is ruining this image, but there’s something so unappealing about being served a meal on a snowboard. Just think about how many other modes of transportation would make good serving dishes. Exactly zero.
When you want to serve a dish that takes up a lot of space or is offered in large quantities, it can be difficult to find a way of making that happen. But is a snowboard really the solution? What about how much this will wobble? Plates are meant to be stable, not put your food at risk of flinging off the table every second. Someone didn’t think that through.
Who Ordered The Glass of Bread?
This might be our most confusing selection yet. Did the diner order a drink and the waiter brought bread? Did the diner order bread and they run out of plates? The table seems to contradict both options as there are drinks in cups and normal plates out there as well. Also, where did the cloth napkin come from if the rest of the table is covered in disposable ones?
Also, who orders an entire baguette at a restaurant? The only time anyone ever purchases a whole baguette is when planning to cook garlic bread for their whole family or if they’ve just moved into a new apartment in a movie about living in Paris. Those are the only options.
Well if the Shoe Fits, Put Appetizers in it
It doesn’t matter how new, clean, or stylish a shoe is. If it’s used to serve food, there’s something wrong with the situation. Look at the rest of the table – nice glasses and cutlery, normal-looking plates, and a clean tablecloth. It seems like this is taking place at a legitimate restaurant. So why serve food in a shoe?
There must have been better items that could have been used as a serving piece for this dish. From the look of the paper holding the mozzarella sticks (?) it appears that this restaurant might be a tapas place. Tapas is fun and all about eating finger foods. So why not offer several different small plates instead of a shoe? Or maybe, use sandals instead? I don’t know, just anything would be better than this choice.
How Was Your Meal? Great, Except For The Splinters
Picture this: you’re a waiter at a restaurant out in the country and the kitchen is all out of plates. So you find the next best thing, a log from the pile of firewood for the room’s fireplace. You hollow out the middle and serve it to the customer just like that. Does that sound ridiculous? Well, it might be the only explanation for placing an item like this in front of a customer.
How are you supposed to eat from this? Clearly, the bottom of this log is filled with the grease from previous dishes. Also, why was it placed on a really unstable pedestal? And all that on top of a normal plate? What are they trying to prove? This log plate is 100% fail.
When You Want to be Known as a “Trashy” Food Establishment
In case it wasn’t obvious from the terrible pun in the headline, these nachos are being served on the lid of a trash can. Let that sink in for a moment. An amount of nachos that would serve a family of six is being offered at a restaurant on a piece of plastic meant to conceal the sight and odors of garbage.
Also, the most egregious part of this whole image is the cheese that’s not even melted on top of these nachos. What a colossal let down. There are also about two bags worth of chips that don’t have any cheese on them at all! Are that guac and sour cream meant to suffice for the 20 pounds of chips on this platter? Doesn’t look like it.
And Now The Ultimate Non-Plate: The Table Plate!
We have reached the final boss of restaurants using alternatives to plates: just using the table itself. This is undoubtedly the “before” picture while the waiter is still serving this to the patrons. They’re intrigued by the novelty of using the table, they’re excited about how much pasta they’re getting and they’re ready for a good time. But it just goes downhill from there.
This is going to leave a huge mess – they’ll just be eating from one mound of pasta. They don’t even have plates! Sure they got plates for salad and bread but for the mountain of pasta at their disposal? Nope, not a chance. The moral of the story: think twice when ordering spaghetti at a restaurant you’ve never visited before.